Today is National Grouch Day...and tomorrow is National Boss's Day. 

- Coincidence? Maybe. 

*****

Donald Trump is demanding Secret Service protection. 

- If they refuse, he's going to build a giant wall around himself. 

*****

The United States was named the Fattest Country in the World by the Organization for Economic Development. 

- Well that really hit's below the belt... And above it too. 

*****

A Yahoo News survey found that 60% of College Freshmen are not emotionally ready to start college. 

- Ironically, 100% of their parents are emotionally ecstatic for them to go.

*****

A Utah man was arrested for trying to sneak into the VIP area of a Star Wars convention. 

- When his cellmate finds out what he's in for, this guy's gonna wish he was in a galaxy far, far away. 

*****

Caitlyn Jenner says she wears make-up everyday because Kim Kardashian told her to. 

- To Kim's credit, the right foundation CAN cover up even the toughest five o'clock shadow. 

- The subject came up when they were out Bra shopping together. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick