The FBI says ISIS terrorists have written a recruiting poem that promises 72 virgins for them in Heaven.
- It's designed to appeal to the ruthless, murdering jihadists more sensitive, romantic sides.
- The poem would really go over well with potential female terrorists...but they're not allowed to read.
- One of the verses says: "Blowing Yourself Up Has Lots Of Perkas! Like 72 Chicks...Without Their Burkas!"
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The Clinton's made an appearance at the Iowa Steak Fry.
- Hillary spoke on stage for 23 minutes, while Bill lassoed 23 cowgirls behind the corn dog stand.
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Pope Francis married 40 couples who were already living together during a ceremony at the Vatican, despite the Church's strong stance against "living in sin".
- When you think about it, letting them get married is a great way to stop them from having sex.
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Hurricane Odile struck land in Mexico injuring 84 people.
- Put another way, Hurricane Odile injured everyone still living in Mexico.
- Odile? Apparently Kim Kardashian and Gwyneth Paltrow are co-chairs of the "Hurricane Naming Committee".
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Rosie O'Donnell told Vanity Fair that she's returning to "The View" because she's much happier and healthier now that she's lost 53 pounds by having her stomach stapled.
- Well Whoopi for her!
- Next the producers are going to work on stapling her mouth.
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A study by USA Today found that 58% of NFL players have suffered concussions.
- Tomorrow they'll reveal how many concussions their wives have suffered.
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ESPN says we need to re-program the violent way in which we raise men.
- So look for the "ESPN Fantasy Pilates Play-Off's" coming soon to a TV near you.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick