Paleontologists at Edinburgh University said dinosaurs would have survived the asteroid that hit the earth 66 million years ago if it happened "at a more convenient time". 

- Like the day they were all over at Betty White's place celebrating her 50th Birthday. 

- Al Gore is already writing a book about how climate change caused the asteroid. It's called "An Inconvenient Time". 

*****

Congress announced a deal to reform the Department of Veterans' Affairs. 

- Their first move will be to hire some actual doctors to work at the VA hospitals.   

*****

A group of Senators wants the Feds to install anti-missile technology on US. passenger planes.  

- If they charge $5 bucks for a Snickers Bar, imagine what "Anti-Missile Technology" is gonna cost you. 

*****

Dollar Tree is buying Family Dollar Stores for $8.5 billion. 

- They'll pay for it with 8.5 million plastic party straws and some paper drink umbrellas made in China . 

*****

USA Today is reporting that the deadly Ebola Virus is just a plane ride away from the United States. 

- Between missiles and viruses, 72 hours on a Greyhound bus with a broken toilet is sounding like a pretty appealing way to travel. 

***** 

A study by the American Journal of Infection Control found that a fist bump spreads just one-twentieth as much bacteria as a handshake does. 

- Well you can fist bump Madonna six ways to Sunday, but if you spend the night with her you're still gonna catch something. 

*****

Regis Philbin will reunite with Kathy Lee Gifford on August 1st when he fills in for Hoda Kotb who's on vacation from their NBC show. 

- Regis only agreed after Kathy Lee signed a contract guaranteeing that she wouldn't utter two specific words: "Cody" and "Cassidy". 

- I can't wait til Regis looks at Kathy Lee and says "My God Kelly...you look like you've aged 30 years."

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick