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A new study shows that dogs act jealous when their owners show interest in stuffed animals electronically wired to bark and wag their tail.

- A companion study found that cats don't give a rats patoot who you play with...They just act bitchy all the time. 

*****

Vladimir Putin may be full of bravado...but he's a little nervous about the food he eats. The Russian President has a full-time food tester to make sure he doesn't get poisoned. 

- So I guess the US government's plan to send him a case of "Borscht With Sour Cream and E Coli" was a bust. 

- I knew Vlad had a lot of his plate these days...I just didn't know someone else sampled it first. 

*****

A woman in Indiana is facing charges for leaving the scene, after running down a man on a motorcycle, claiming that God told her to let go and that "He'd take it from here". 

- Looks like somebody is taking the song "Jesus Take The Wheel" a little too literally. 

*****

According to a poll on Five-Thirty-Eight.com, Darth Vader is more popular with voters than Hillary Clinton or Mike Huckabee. 

- Maybe if Hillary threw a long black cape over her pantsuit...

- Actually Bill Clinton is a lot like Darth Vader: He spent years telling unsuspecting kids, "(Insert Name Here...I am your Father". 

- Darth actuality tied in popularity with Anthony Weiner...but I think that's just because they both like showing off their light saber. 

*****

A New Zealand man with 41 Homer Simpson tattoos set a world record for most tattoos of a cartoon character. 

- Ironically the only other person to do something that stupid is Homer Simpson. 

- The guy says the tattoos make him a "chick magnet" ...especially really tall chicks with blue hair. 

*****

Time Magazine says NYC is the unhappiest city in the country. 

- Leading to the new slogan: "New York, New York it's a helluva town! Where the Bronx is up, and the People are Down!" 

- Apparently living in a shoe-box sized, roach-infested apartment that costs $4000 a month isn't as fabulous as we've been led to believe. 

*****

Simon Cowell issued a statement saying he's straight after a record executive testified in court that Cowell was gay. 

- Simon added that the record execs testimony was "dreadful, amateurish, and really, really pitchy". 

- Paula Abdul jumped to his defense...but she was slurring so badly it was hard to make out what she was saying. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here tomorrow with an all-new Podcast (#129)!

-Dick