The Wu Tang rapper who cut off his own penis and jumped off a two-story balcony says it was not a suicide attempt.
- Suicide attempt, no. Stupid? Absolutely.
- The way I see it, either way he came up short.
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A new study on global employment shows that China's work force is shrinking.
- This is because of better technology and also the fact that many workers have decided to go on to higher education...and attend 2nd grade instead.
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A shocking new report says that 35 Disney World employees have tried to meet minors in the park for sex since 2006.
- This explains why "Horny" and "Gropey" have moved in with Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
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The Army confirmed that Bowe Bergdahl is on desk duty at Fort Sam Houston.
- He spends most of the day emailing Jihad jokes to his "Tali-Buddies" in Afghanistan.
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Israel and Hamas resumed bombing each other less than 24 hours after Egypt brokered a peace treaty.
- It wasn't so much a peace treaty as it was a little extra time time for everybody to clean and reload their weapons.
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The FAA is probing a New York representative for using a drone to shoot his wedding video.
- Usually the only drone at a wedding is a drunken groomsmen who gives an impromptu embarrassing speech about the groom's previous sex life.
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Oscar Pistorius is in hot water again. While out on bail during his murder trial, he went to a nightclub and got into a fight with another patron. His lawyer says going to the nightclub was "probably a bad idea".
- Ya think?
- But there were so many women their just dying to meet him.
- To his credit, he stuck to beer and didn't do any shots.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick