Legendary radio personality Casey Kasem is missing and a judge has ordered an investigation into his disappearance. The host of "American Top 40" and the voice of "Shaggy" on Scooby Doo is 82, unable to speak and is allegedly suffering from Parkinson's disease and/or dementia. His 3 children believe their step-mother Jean has either taken him out of the country or to an Indian Reservation. This is the continuation of a family battle over money, etc...
Casey is a friend and a great guy and let's hope the whole issue is settled soon for Casey's sake.
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Beyonce's sister Solange was caught on a hotel elevator security camera kicking and punching Beyonce's husband Jay Z. Beyonce who was on the elevator during the assault just stood there and did nothing.
- Hey...what family doesn't have it's occasional ups and downs...especially in an elevator?
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GM is recalling 8,500 cars because of faulty braking systems.
- So not only can't they stop recalling cars...they can't get the cars they're recalling to stop.
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A new study in Germany claims that infertility is caused by chemicals found in soap and toothpaste.
- It's also caused by NOT using soap or toothpaste because your better-half won't come near you.
- Critics of the study point to Donald Sterling who has three children despite using Crest toothpaste...with Extra Whitening power!
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The Wu Tang Rapper who cut off his own penis claims it's been re-attached and that he did it because he missed his teenage daughters.
- The doctors reattached his, um, "manhood" using "This Guy Is Crazy Glue".
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New York Prison officials assigned a personal chef to a cop on trial for cannibalism.
- The chef knows just how he like his Frank 'n Beans.
- And Shishka Bob's.
- And Mack & Cheese.
- The chef admits he sometimes uses canned products including "Manwich".
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Two Pi Beta Phi sororities at Stanford and Dartmouth have changed or cancelled their annual All You Can Eat "Pi Phiesta" Taco Charity fundraisers because a handful of Latino students say it's racist.
- Get out your hand baskets...I'm pretty sure this is proof the country's going to hell.
- I don't understand this protest...It's not exactly "Hamburgers for Hitler".
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick