TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF WINTER!!!!! I REPEAT...TODAY IS THE LAST DAY OF WINTER!!!!!
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Vladimir Putin issued a list of Americans who are not allowed to visit Russia as a response to U.S. Sanctions.
- Well there goes the annual Purtan family trip to Moscow to take pics of the grandkids next to an embalmed Lenin under glass.
- Basically the only American NOT on the list is Eric Snowden.
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Katie Holmes was spotted at Disney World taking pictures with tourists.
- She did refuse to go on "It's a Small World" because it reminds her of Tom Cruise.
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This is the date the swallows traditionally return to the San Juan Capistrano Mission in California.
- And boy are their arms tired.
- Unfortunately one of the birds didn't make it. He fell off the radar about an hour after he took off and nobody can find him.
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The White House's executive pastry chef has resigned.
- I guess it just wasn't any fun making "Cauliflower Cupcakes".
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A study by the University of Toronto says that saturated fat doesn't lead to heart disease.
- The study was funded by Toronto Mayor Rob Ford.
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An 88-year old mobster is accused of bullying his neighbors at a Florida nursing home.
- He told one woman she'd soon be sleeping with her great grandson's pet fishes.
- What's he gonna do? Hire two guys to break someone's hip?
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TV Infomercial star Kevin Trudeau has been sentenced to 10 years in the slammer for scamming millions of consumers with his fake medical cures, financial tips and weight loss books.
- Trudeau panicked when the judge said "But Wait...There's More!!!"
- When he heard the sentence he immediately dropped two pounds...of course that was just "water weight".
- Look for his new book "How To Turn The Prison Commisary Into Your Own Cash Cow!" coming soon.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!
-Dick