A survey found that 31% of Christians have given up Social Media for lent.
- Let's see if we can get 100,000 "Likes" for this on Facebook!
- This is explains the 31% decrease in pictures of "cute cats" and must-try pot roast recipes on my newsfeed.
- It's led to a new medical condition called PTSD...Post Twitter Stress Disorder.
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A pastor in Tennessee has started a website aim at guilting church goers into tipping better at restaurants.
- I can see it now... "Tip 20% Or This May Be Your Last Supper!"
- One parishioner said he'll start tipping 50%...the day his waiter starts turning water into wine.
- The news has really excited employees at the local "Waffle House Of Worship" and "Burger King of Kings".
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Publishing sources say that Keith Richards is writing a Children's Book.
- At least they think it's a children's book...they can't read his handwriting.
- The working title is "Hey, Hey, You Kids...Get Offa My Lawn!"
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Texas US Representative Sheila Jackson Lee took to the house floor Wednesday and declared that the Constitution is 400 years old.
- I think she meant to say that Keith Richards is 400 years old.
- We should have known she wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed when she asked to be sworn into Congress using the "Steve Gutenberg Bible".
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Wildlife officials in India are giving birth control pills to monkeys.
- They tried other methods of contraception, but the male monkeys kept putting the condoms on their bananas.
- PETA's gonna go Ape when they hear about this one.
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The FDA approved a nerve stimulating headband as the first medical device to prevent headaches.
- Men everywhere are now asking their wives to put on a teddy with a matching nerve stimulation headband."
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday with a Shiny New Podcast! (#114).
-Dick