sorry…closed.jpeg

And so...for the first time in almost 20 years, the Federal Government is shut down. While you may not have noticed anything different this morning, a couple of things did change: All National Parks and Monuments will be closed and all "non-essential" Federal employees will be furloughed. 

- I wonder how Harry Reid and John Boehner are going to spend their time off?

- Anthony Weiner is furious about having to cancel his picture-taking trip to the Washington, Monument.  

 *****

President Obama reassured the public that during the shutdown, essential services will stay open.  

- Like the IRS and the NSA.  

- I sure hope this doesn't screw up all the "orange-barrel boulevards" around town.  

***** 

Obamacare officially kicks in today, and one Wyoming Senator says that the insurance exchange computer systems are so unready, they "are being held together with duct tape and chicken wire." 

- So they're basically like Cher was before they invented Botox.  

***** 

Medical experts came up with a list of things more painful than kidney stones.  

 - They include childbirth, root canals, and having a root canal while giving birth to a child. 

- Most painful of all: Watching Miley Cyrus perform on an Awards show.  

***** 

Al-Qaeda opened it's first official Twitter account complete with links to other terrorist groups that people might be interested in following. 

- This gives new meaning to the phrase "My phone is blowing up!"  

- Who knew they could describe how to bomb America in 140 characters or less?  

***** 

Diet Coke is offering a special limited-edition can featuring Taylor Swift's signature.  

- And just like Taylor's relationships, the offer will only last for a short time.  

- Fifty bucks says with in a month she's dumped Pepsi and taken up with Dr. Pepper.  

 *****

Have a great day and, apparently being ESSENTIAL Federal Employees (Who Knew???) we'll be back here Wednesday! 

-Dick