If you've been outside today, you know it's what we kids used to call "Snot-Freezing Cold"! So how cold is it?
- It's so cold the Hookers on Eight Mile are wearing their fur lined fishnets.
- It's so cold the Joe Louis Fist is wearing a boxing glove.
- It's so cold the City of Detroit Bankruptcy Budget is "Frozen".
- It's so cold the fries you get at the drive-thru actually seem hot.
- It's so cold a guy relieving himself by the side of the road actually peed ice cubes.
- It's so cold "shrinkage" can now lead to "snapage". Now THAT's Cold!!!!!
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The latest leak from Edward Snowden reveals that the NSA has undercover agents sneaking around virtual game realms like World of Warcraft to spy on the players.
- Right...spying. That's what the NSA agents caught playing World of Warcraft on company time told their bosses they were doing.
- They actually used the info to figure out exactly how many 17 to 35 year old men are unemployed.
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Facebook is considering adding a "Sympathize" button.
- It's for those people who feel awkward hitting the "Like" button when someone posts that they're Grandfather just died.
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President Obama will speak today at the memorial for Nelson Mandela.
- Meanwhile Joe Biden will be delivering the eulogy for Brian the Dog from Family Guy.
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Sarah Palin announced plans for a new reality show on the Sportsman Channel that will focus on hunting, fishing and shooting.
- Execs plan on starting the show off with a real bang by featuring guest star Dick Cheney and Sarah on a quail hunting trip.
- She lives so close to Russia, her show will run on her cable network "Commie-Cast".
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It's happened again...A woman using the bathroom in a Georgia "Home Depot" store found herself super-glued to one of the stores toilets.
- If only she'd been in a "Home Depot" store where they carry some kind of super glue solvent...
- Employees said she ended up with "Rosy Cheeks" just like Santa Claus.
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North Korea has dismissed Jang Song-Thaek, the powerful uncle of leader Kim Jong Un, for what is described as a string of criminal acts including corruption, womanizing and drug taking.
- Dennis Rodman is furious...Edward Snowden told him weeks ago that Jang Song had picked his name in the Korean Palace Secret Santa Exchange!
- Looks like there's gonna be one extra stocking in front of the firing squad wall this year.
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Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! And don't forget to check out Podcast #103 where I reveal what I asked asked Santa for this year! Just click here: Podcast #103
-Dick