Elizabeth Warren is under fire for claiming that she was fired from a teaching job in 1971 because she was pregnant. A reporter obtained documents that show she was actually given a raise and then she resigned a year later.

- Me thinks she speaks with Forked tongue.

*****

Some on Social Media are lashing out at Ellen DeGeneres for asking people to “Be Kind to One Another” after she was called out for sitting next to George W. Bush at a Dallas Cowboy’s game.

- I didn’t realize that “Be Kind to One Another” had been added to the “Insensitive Things You Can’t Say” List.

*****

73 year old Dolly Parton says she’s launching a new “Lifestyle Empire” that will sell clothing, home goods and wigs based on her own home and wardrobe.

- This is great for women who want a bra that doubles as a couple of laundry hampers.

*****

Miley Cyrus is in the hospital recovering from Tonsillitis capping off a year that saw her get married, cheat on her husband, file for separation, start dating a girl, dump the girlfriend, then begin dating a guy.

- And all she got was Tonsillitis??

*****

An elderly Florida man will serve a month in jail for battery after he squirted a female neighbor in the face with a water pistol filled with urine.

- Why didn’t he just use a Pee Shooter?

*****

A new documentary series about men who have married sex dolls premieres next week on STARZ.

- In the first episode, in addition to going to marriage therapy, each man has to take his wife to Tech Support.

*****

According to a new study, 1 in 4 American adults say they’ve NEVER eaten a vegetable.

- The other 3 say they love vegetables… like ONION Rings and CORN Dogs.

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick