Three Secret Service officers have been put on administrative leave after a night of heavy drinking that left one passed out in a hotel hallway, just hours before they were to begin "protecting" President Obama in Amsterdam. 

- least they didn't hire any prostitutes like the Secret Service guys in Colombia did! 


Meanwhile President Obama says he's much more concerned about a nuclear detonation in Manhattan than he is about Vladimir Putin. 

- So he's worried about NYC getting bombed while his Secret Service guys are getting bombed in Amsterdam. 

- Speaking of Vladimir Putin, he's officially changing the name of "Ukraine" to "MyKraine". 


It's official...Weather experts now confirm that the majority of the U.S. has experienced the coldest October through March since 1912. That's 102 years. 

- At this rate, Kwame Kilpatrick is gonna get "Sprung" before Spring does. 

- The record for the coldest winter in Washington D.C. was set in 1998 when Hilary found out about Monica. 


With March 31st looming, the Obama Administration has extended the deadline for signing up for Obamacare until mid-April. It's supposed to be for people who tried to sign up but couldn't complete the process, but the administration says they won't check to see if people are telling the truth. 

- It's only fair. If the Prez doesn't have to tell the truth about Obamacare, why should we? 

- This thing has changed deadlines more often than Taylor Swift changes boyfriends. 


Justin Bieber unveiled a series of new tattoos on Instagram, including one that reads: "I Love Korea". 

- Another example that his career is going to the dogs. 

- Move over Dennis Rodman! It's time for a little "Bad Pop Music Diplomacy"! 


Researchers say that bad posture caused by playing games and texting on your cell phone can lead to cardiovascular problems and an early death. 

- It's so bad engaged couples are changing their vows to "'Til Angry Birds Do Us Part". 


Massachusetts is considering a law that would make it illegal for divorced couples to have sex if they still live together. 

- But isn't "Make-Up Sex" the best kind? 


Former TV star "Judge Joe Brown" was sentence to five days in jail after his violent outburst in a courtroom during a real life custody case. 

- The guys he sent to the slammer are REALLY looking forward to catching up with him in the yard!


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!