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The obituary of an 81 year old Minnesota woman has gone viral - after her family gave a less-than-glowing summation of her life, saying that she got pregnant by her husband's brother, "abandoned" her kids and that quote, "the world is a better place without her". 

- FYI: Visitation and Grave-Stomping will be this Sunday from 1 to 4pm. 

- Say what you want, but her family sure knows how to put the "Fun" in "Funeral". 

*****

The NY Post has confirmed that Dennis Rodman will be in Singapore for the big Trump/Kim Jong Un Summit next week... and may even play a role in the negotiations. 

- Think of him as Henry Kissinger in a wedding dress. 

*****

Pancake lovers are flipping out over IHOP's announcement that, after 60 years, they're changing their name to the mysterious sounding "IHOb". The meaning of the "b" will be revealed next Monday. 

- My money is on "bypass". As in Heart "bypass" Surgery. 

- I'm okay with the name change... but if they try to mess with the "Rooty Tooty Fresh & Fruity" breakfast platter - count me out. 

*****

A man in NY is suing CVS after one it's employees told his wife about his prescription for Viagra - which he paid for in cash and kept hidden from his bride. 

- His wife is up in arms and the man is just... well... UP. 

*****

Simon Cowell claims he's much less "irritated and annoyed" since ten months ago he stopped constantly looking at his cell phone. 

- Imagine how much less "irritated and annoyed" he'd have been during "American Idol" if he'd only stopped looking at Paula Abdul.

*****

Today the 6th of June.... On this fateful day in 1944, the U.S. and Allied Troops overcame incredible odds when they stormed the beaches of Normandy and started the path towards Victory in World War II. 

Have a great day... Thank a Veteran... and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick 

 

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The Miss America Pageant is dropping the Swimsuit competition beginning with this year's pageant in September so the girls will no longer be judged on their looks.  

- Doesn't matter to me. I only watched the Pageant for the articles anyway. No wait... that's was Playboy. 

- Pageant officials said It was "an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot decision".  

*****

Starbucks Chairman Howard Schultz announced he is leaving amid speculation that he's planning a Presidential run in 2020. 

- Insiders say he's already ordered a bunch of "Make America GRANDE Again" baseball caps. 

- He hasn't even announced yet, and he's already locked up the all-important "Barista Vote". 

*****

The Mayor of Philadelphia lashed out at the President after Trump "disinvited" the Super Bowl winning Philadelphia Eagles from a White House reception today because only 10 players said  they would attend. The Mayor called Trump "a fragile egomaniac". 

- Well I wouldn't call him "fragile". 

*****

Bill Clinton has changed his story... This morning he said that he DID personally apologize to Monica Lewinsky after their sex scandal, claiming he was just "hot under the collar" when asked about it on Sunday.

- He was "hot under the collar" as opposed to his usual state of "hot under his belt". 

*****

A physicist who did some work for MSU is facing charges of beastiality for allegedly having a 3 month long "sexual relationship" with a Basset Hound. O.M.G.!!!

- The physicist claims the sex was "consensual" and that the two met on Fetch.com. 

*****

Queen Elizabeth went all out when it came to a wedding gift for Prince Harry and his bride Meghan Markle: She gave them a historic Stone Cottage. 

- It was built in the 1800's, so basically she gave them a fixer-upper. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

 

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GM Executive VP Mark Reuss crumbled the front of the $125,000 Corvette pace car he was driving during the parade lap of the Detroit Grand Prix Sunday by hitting the wall. 

- The old Chevy ad slogan "Like a Rock" didn't work out so well. 

*****

When asked by "Today" show hosts this morning whether he ever apologized to Monica Lewinsky for abusing his power during their affair, Clinton said, "No". 

- He added "I have never had apologetic conversations with that woman... Miss Lewinsky".

*****

Just 9 days before his "On-Again" summit with Prez Trump, Kim Jong Un fired three of his top military leaders and replaced them with younger generals. 

- Technically he didn't "fire" them... He "firing squaded" them. 

*****

A survey by Office Team found that 80% of bosses say the quality of a worker's wardrobe plays a direct role in whether or not they get a promotion. 

- Which explains why Plumbers rarely get a crack at moving up the corporate ladder. 

*****

According to a new survey, Las Vegas is the "Best City in the World" for finding a romantic partner.

- The partnership may only last an hour and cost you a hundred big ones, but still, it's "a romantic partner". 

***** 

Brian DePalma, who directed "Scarface" and "Carrie" said that he's writing a horror film about Harvey Weinstein. 

- Seeing Harvey naked in the shower will make "Psycho" seem like a Disney Movie. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!

-Dick 

 

 

 

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A Goose who ran wild on the field at Comerica Park last night during a rain delay, evaded capture by Groundskeepers, only to fly straight into the scoreboard.

- The bird is fine... but he should have listened to the crowd chanting, "Duck! Duck! Goose!" 

*****

Roseanne Barr's ex, Tom Arnold, says "she did it on purpose". 

- But don't worry about her. I'm bettin' she's already got a plan to star in a reboot of "The Biggest Loser".  

*****

A car salesman in Texas is suing his boss for creating a "hostile work environment" by repeatedly "breaking wind" in the salesman's office to "keep him in line". 

- Sounds like someone isn't following the EPA's Emission Standards. 

- So much for that "New Car Smell". 

*****

Harvey Weinstein's attorney says that despite indictments handed down by a Grand Jury Thursday, "Harvey continues to maintain his position of innocence". 

- Which is new, since the women who had to deal with him said he loved to CHANGE positions. 

*****

Officials in Hawaii are warning residents not to roast marshmallows over flowing lava, as it could be dangerous. 

- Ya think?

- Apparently that whole "Pompeii" thing could have been avoided if the Girl Scouts hadn't been on a camping trip.

*****

A massive new study out of Britain found that people who need reading glasses are genetically prone to be more intelligent than those with good eyesight.

- If it's true... I have been a flipping GENIUS since I was 7!

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

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Roseanne Barr, whose hit sit-com was cancelled by ABC after she tweeted racist comments says the sleeping pill Ambien made her do it. 

- Bill Cosby said, "That's why when I was shooting 'The Cosby Show', I stuck with Quaaludes".

- Remember the good old days when the most offensive thing Roseanne did was grabbing her "covfefe" while "screeching" the National Anthem?

*****

Grosse Pointe Shores has been named the "Richest City" in Michigan with an average household income of 150 grand.  

- All that money and the men still can't afford socks.

*****

The 'world's oldest man' - 114 year old Fredie Blom from Cape Town, South Africa has announced that he's trying to quit smoking. 

- I'm all for a healthy lifestyle, but if you make it to 114... "Smoke 'em if you got 'em".

*****

With talks underway to reschedule his summit with Kim Jong Un, President Trump will hold another summit today:  He's meeting with KIM KARDASHIAN to discuss prison reform. 

- Wow. He may be the first U.S. President in history to have a summit with Lil Kim and Big-Butt-Kim in the span of a month! 

***** 

Two little boys in Denver who opened a lemonade stand to raise money for a child in Indonesia, were forced to close their operation because someone alerted Police that they didn't have a permit. 

- Thus the expression, "When Life Hands You Lemons... Make Sure You Get A Permit Before You Make Lemonade". 

*****

A televangelist based in Louisiana is asking followers to donate $54 Million to buy a private jet - saying that "If Jesus were alive today, he wouldn't be riding around on a donkey... he'd be flying around the world preaching". 

- This guy should stick to donkey-riding since he's clearly a Jackass.

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

 

 

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Starbucks will close all 8000 of it's US locations this afternoon for 4 hours of "Anti-Bias Training". 

- So if you're planning on buying an eight dollar cup of Joe today, you'll have to go to Tim Hortons... 4 times. 

*****

After being officially charged on Friday, Harvey Weinstein spent the holiday weekend wearing an ankle tether. 

- He's already complaining that the tether makes it hard to take his pants off. 

*****

Social Media is buzzing about Hillary Clinton's health after she was photographed at an annual Memorial Day Parade in NY wearing a winter coat and scarf - despite a temperature of 72 degrees.

- Some say she's concealing a back brace... I think we finally found out where she's hiding those 3,000 missing emails.  

*****

A Manhattan woman is being sued for $1 million by her gynecologist after she posted a negative review about him on YELP claiming he charged her for an unnecessary ultrasound and never even gave her a breast exam. 

- This is the first time in a long time we've heard about a lawsuit where a guy is accused of NOT touching a woman's boob.

*****

While 89% of Michiganders surveyed by AAA say the State's road's are in "Poor Condition", 2% believe our roads are in "Excellent Condition".

- Apparently the 2% are the ones who didn't go on a Holiday Road Trip around the State this Holiday Weekend! 

***** 

Richard Nixon's "Western White House" in California is on sale for $63.5 Million. 

- Critics say it's over priced, but the realtor said "I am not a crook!" 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

 

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Over my last few years on the air approaching Memorial Day Weekend, I recited the following poem in honor and in memory of the brave men and women of the Military who have laid down their lives that we may live ours.

That poem, “The Inscription”, was sent to me by a listener, Paul Reside. Paul’s Grandmother, Annabelle Gunnett Jones, penned it around 1932. The poem was picked up and published in the the Perry County, Ohio newspaper for a number of years on “Decoration Day”, or as we know it today - “Memorial Day”.

Annabelle was inspired to write the poem by her husband, a World War I Veteran, as a tribute to the Unknown Soldier. 

I hope you will share “The Inscription” with your family and friends.  In these turbulent times, it is imperative that we never forget the sacrifice our men and women in uniform have made, and continue to make today, so that we may live in freedom.

After listening to Annabelle's words, I think you might enjoy a few of my favorite patriotic songs performed by some of this great country's greatest artists. The first one posted was taken from last night's "National Memorial Day Concert" - It's a beautiful rendition of "Requiem for a Soldier" - The main theme from the 2001 Steven Spielberg/Tom Hanks mini-series, "Band of Brothers". 

From the entire Purtan Family to You and Yours... Have a Safe, Pleasant & Peaceful Memorial Day! 

-Dick 

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For those of you who said you enjoyed the Official Wedding Photo of the Royal Family but thought someone was missing... here's an updated pic. (The kid's Official Title is "Duke Duke Duke Duke of Earl Earl Earl. Duke of Earl. Duke Duke. Duke of Earl"). 

*****

Queen Elizabeth has sent her Private Assistant Secretary to Meghan Markle for 6 months... "to teach her how to be a Royal". 

- Things like how to do "The Wave" at Cricket games.

*****

Caitlyn Jenner says "It's very tough to maintain a relationship with all her children" because "they've all moved on". 

- Basically they've cut Caitlyn off... then again, that's what Bruce did to himself to become Caitlyn in the first place. 

*****

Robert De Niro, who has called President Trump "an F--ing Fool", says he wouldn't allow the Commander in Chief into any of his "Nobu" restaurants. 

- Trump responded on social media, demanding "You Tweetin' to me? You Tweetin' to ME???" 

*****  

Scientists at Syracuse University says research shows that people we meet use our first name to judge everything from our personality to our performance at work.

- For obvious reasons, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank my Mom & Dad. NOT. 

*****

The NFL says Players who kneel during the National Anthem next season will be fined... but gave them the option of staying in the locker room until the singing is over. 

- Except for the Lions who may as well stay in the locker room until the GAME is over. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!

-Dick 

 

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The new 17 foot sculpture in front of Campus Martius named "Waiting" that is supposed to represent the spirit of the "New Detroit" is being met with decidedly mixed reviews. (Personally, I think they should have named it "Ri-DICK-ulous"). 

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A group of 10 McDonald's workers have filed sexual harassment claims against the company.  

- Apparently "Hold the Pickle" is okay over at Burger King... but at McDonalds, not so much. 

*****

This afternoon, the Mayor of West Hollywood will present Stormy Daniels with a Key to the City for her leadership in the #RESIST movement, and have proclaimed today, "Stormy Daniels Day". 

- Nothing says "WOMEN ARE NOT OBJECTS!" like giving a Porn Star her own holiday.

*****

Meghan Markle's dad is continuing his "Cardio Rehab" following heart surgery. Just days after downing a Frappachino, he was photographed chowing down at a Chinese restaurant. 

- I love Chinese food! Especially the Sweet, Sour & Sodium Sauce! 

- Mr. Markle reportedly dined on "General's Tso's Nitroglycerin Chicken".

*****

A new study predicts that almost 25% of the world's population will be "severely obese" by 2045. 

- By my observations we're gonna get there by August.  

*****

A 7th Grade Science Teacher in Pittsburgh is in trouble after teaching his class about Oral Sex and having them look up pix on their phones "because school computers would block the images". 

- Remember the days when the most exciting thing you did in Science Class was making a volcano erupt with vinegar and baking soda? 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

 

 

 

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After welcoming Girls & changing their name to "Scouts BSA", "The Boy Scouts" reportedly announced that alcohol and condoms must be available at the upcoming World Scout Jamboree.  

- Organizers say they'll have plenty of condoms, so if the Scouts run out, they can just ask for S'more. 

- Up next? "The Bill Cosby Drug-Your-Date Merit Badge"??? 

*****

Starbucks also has a new policy:  Non-paying customers can "hang out" and use the bathrooms, but using drugs and smoking is not okay. 

- So... Starbucks has the same rules my Mom had when I was in high school. 

*****

Meghan Markle's father was released from the hospital after missing her wedding due to heart surgery and headed straight to Starbucks where he was photographed holding a "Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino" - packing 540 calories. 

- At this rate, he's not going to around for her 1st Anniversary Party either.  

- That must be the new Medical protocol these days: Have heart surgery followed immediately by a Double Chocolaty Chip Frappuccino. 

*****

Hillary Clinton wore a Russian hat during her commencement speech at Yale University and joked "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em". 

- If that's what she said, she should have worn a "Make America Great Again" hat.   

*****

Despite doing two cartwheels and scoring a Perfect 30 on her freestyle dance last night, Tonya Harding failed to win the Mirror Ball Trophy on "Dancing With The Stars". 

- When the announcement came, Tonya fell to her knees crying "Why NOT me??? Why NOT now???"

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

 

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Welcome to Monday and a special Post-Royal-Wedding Podcast! If you're like me, you set your alarm for the crack of dawn Saturday, baked up a fresh batch of crumpets and settled in with a cup of Earl Grey and a pallet of tissues to watch Harry and Meghan Tie the Knot. NOT!!! But Jackie did! She joined me at the Purtan Family Dining Room Table just a few hours after the Happy Couple said their "I Wills" to dish all the details - and try to explain to me why this "event" was so worth losing sleep over. From the Queen to the Clooney's to the all important DRESS...  she's got estrogen-laced castle to castle coverage. Plus we'll tell why a one-month-old boy stands a better chance of becoming King than the newly minted Groom does! (The baby's already spoken his first words... "It's GOOD to be the KING!!!")

So give a Royal Wave goodbye to whatever you're doing... and take a few minutes to join us for Podcast #228. You'll be bloody gobsmacked, mate! 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick

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Looking for a unique way to celebrate Prince Harry & Meghan Markle's wedding? Pick up some condoms called "The Royal Jewels"... which play "God Save the Queen" and "The Star-Spangled Banner".

- The best part? One Size Fits All... Scepters.  

- Speaking of sex... I sure hope Prince Charles has had "The Talk" with Harry. 

*****

Sir Elton John will perform at the Nuptials on Saturday. 

- In honor of Meghan's crazy not-invited relatives... he'll perform "Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting". 

*****

Disney announced that they will begin serving alcohol at ALL of it's theme park restaurants. 

- If you don't think it's the Greatest Place on Earth when you first get there, you will after a few "Mickey Mouse Martinis". 

- In a related story, Bill Cosby insists he never gave one of his "special drinks" to Sleeping Beauty. 

*****

A Silverback Gorilla at a Dutch Zoo was caught by a photographer flipping the bird to a group of onlookers - including kids. 

- One of the kids said, "Hey Dad! That Gorilla just did the same thing you always do when we're driving!" 

***** 

Happy 1st Birthday to the Mueller Investigation into anything involving President Trump and Russian Collusion! 

- Like most 1 year olds... Investigators are still crawling around babbling things no one can understand. 

*****

The CEO of Bumble Bee is the latest packaged seafood exec to be indicted on charges of "Fixing Tuna Prices". 

- Sorry, Charlie! 

- As the old saying goes... "You can Tune a Piano, but you Can't Tune the Prices of Canned Fish". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick

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I hate to break your heart... but the NY Post has confirmed that the Spice Girls WILL NOT be reuniting for a performance at the Royal Wedding. 

- I haven't been this disappointed since "Toots Dentino and his Hot Diggity Dogs" backed out of their gig at my Dad's wedding to my Step-Mother.  

*****

The Judge in the Bill Cosby case says the 80 year old, who's facing a likely 10 years behind bars, will be sentenced in September.  

- Bill's so nervous that, unlike his dates, he's barely getting any sleep. 

*****

Kim Jong Un is threatening to cancel his upcoming summit with President Trump because of joint military exercises between the US and S. Korea which KJU says are "Practice for an Invasion". 

- And Lil Kim's waistline make it look like HE's practicing for an EXPLOSION.

*****

Gayle King told Vanity Fair magazine that her best friend Oprah Winfrey smokes a little marijuana every now and again. 

- I knew it! She WAS high when she gave everyone in her audience a new car! 

*****

A Russian woman purported to be the oldest living person ever at 128 says she hasn't lived a single happy day in her life and her longevity is "a punishment from God".

- Lucky for her, people who are named "The Oldest Person Alive" usually die a week later, so hang on, it's almost over. 

*****

No matter what year you were born, you may be part of the "Indoor Generation"... the name scientists are giving to the nearly 25% of Americans who spend 21 to 24 hours EVERY DAY indoors. 

- There's another name for them: "Convicts". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

 

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Tonya Harding advanced to the "DWTS" finale last night saying "I've been knocked down and now I've been picked back up!"

- The same thing happened to Nancy Kerrigan... but she needed help with the getting "picked back up" part.  

*****

During a service this morning, Pope Francis admitted that he has thought about hanging up his hat and retiring.

- And that's gonna be ONE BIG HAT. 

*****

With the Nuptials just 4 days away, Meghan Markle's father announced that he won't walk her down the aisle because he had a heart attack last week. 

- He had the heart attack when somebody told him, as Father-of-the-Bride, he had to pay for the Royal Wedding.

*****

Bernie Sanders son Levi, a Democrat, says that Hillary Clinton hurt voters self-esteem, but President Trump has done "an incredible job" of making voters feel good about themselves. 

- Even Stormy Daniels admits that Trump made her feel "like the only Porn Star in the room!"

*****

The NYPD arrested a woman on Saturday after finding a stolen $30,000 Rolex in her panties. 

- This gives a whole new meaning to "Sexy Time". 

*****

A Reproductive Scientist from China says that thanks to new technology it will soon be commonplace for 60 year old women to have babies. 

- They already have them... they're called "Grandchildren". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick 

 

 

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President Trump recorded a special video to celebrate all the Mother's and Grandmother's in the country yesterday. 

- He also gave a shout out to "the biggest Mother of them all... James Comey". 

- And he gave a special Mother's Day gift to first Lady Melania... a new TV for HER bedroom! 

*****

Scientists in Germany are working on creating tiny, Neanderthal-sized brains. 

- The idea came up while researchers were watching "The View". 

*****

A survey by the Social Security Administration found that “Melania” is one of the five fastest growing baby names in the country, moving up 720 spaces in the past year. 

- That's nothing compared to "Stormy". 

*****

The Lifetime movie about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle which aired last night is getting panned on social media, with people saying it was "Cheesy" and "Way Over The Top". 

- In other words, it was a LIFETIME MOVIE. 

*****

Crocs, the ugly foam shoes that Vogue magazine once called "the secret shameful shoe" are making a huge comeback. 

- Now... if we can just bring back Fanny Packs and Mullet haircuts... the crowd at Cedar Point is about to get a lot better looking!  

*****

North Korea released a detailed plan to close it's Nuclear Test Site ahead of Kim Jong Un's meeting with President Trump. 

- So, basically, Mr. Un spent a ton of money on a Nuclear Program that he never used... Just like his gym membership. 

*****

Congrats to my friend and fellow Detroiter, Tim Allen on his show "Last Man Standing" finally being renewed!  Although highly rated, it was cancelled by ABC last year... but will be back in the Fall on the Fox TV Network! (In Detroit, that's Channel 2). 

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick 

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QUOTE OF THE DAY: Kim Kardashian said that shopping all the time isn't fulfilling anymore and that she'd like to "save someone's life... like once a year". 

- I would say her head is in her you-know-what, but that would require one heckuva big brain to match her one heckuva big butt. 

*****

During a Mass this week, Pope Francis called the Devil "a Loser". 

- I give it five minutes before people on social media start accusing the Pontiff of "Bullying Satan". 

*****

Town & Country magazine apologized to Monica Lewinsky after they UNINVITED her from an event about social change, after Bill Clinton RSVP-ed that he would be attending. 

- Bill said he had no idea she'd been invited saying "I did not have social expectations... with that woman... Monica Lewinsky". 

*****

President Trump was on the tarmac at 2am this morning to shake hands with 3 Americans released from North Korea by Kim Jong Un when they touched down on American soil. 

- It was nice for Trump to have another reason to get up in the middle of the night than just to Tweet.  

*****

Speaking of Trump's hands and Lil Kim... Happy "National Shrimp Day!" 

*****

An Amish man in Ohio was arrested for drunk driving after he blew his horse-drawn-buggy through a stop sign and admitted having downed 10 beers. 

- Horse-drawn-buggy crime is on the rise... that according to a Gallop poll. (Sorry!) 

*****

Police in Asheville, N.C., have arrested a 38-year-old man for running through a Waffle House,  McDonald’s, Buffalo Wild Wings and a Taco Bell... naked . 

- The cops were finally able to nab him when he dropped his Chalupa. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday! 

-Dick 

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One year ago today President Trump fired FBI Director James Comey. 

- Really? Gee, I haven't heard much about this whole thing!!!!!

*****

Congratulations! A man in Wisconsin reached his goal today, of eating 30,000 Big Macs. 

- For those of you keeping track, that's "60 thousand all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles & onions on 30 thousand sesame seed buns". Pardon me... those were his cholesterol numbers. 

*****

An internal investigation by NBC of NBC found no evidence of a "culture of sexual harassment" at the network and claims that NO ONE in management knew of Matt Lauer's ongoing offenses before the story broke.  

- They should have put Dateline NBC on the case.

*****

Hillary Clinton recently told a crowd that she thought about leaving the United States after Trump won the election. 

- Bill even volunteered to drive her to the airport. 

*****

A new study found that Netflix is killing couple's sex lives because they're watching TV in bed instead of doing the "Horizontal Mambo". 

- There's even a new Netflix show about it called "Orange Is The New Black Nightie".

*****

Former Sex and the City star turned Gubernatorial Candidate Cynthia Nixon says she wants to give marijuana licenses to black communities as a form of reparations. 

- Just what this country needs... More drugged out people! 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick 

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A new study shows that average Americans work about 200 more hours a year than Medieval Peasants did back in the 13th Century. 

- I guess the Medieval bosses were a lot stricter about employees wasting time on the Internet. 

- In fact they had signs posted reading "NO SERF-ing THE WEB!"

*****

Tonya Harding narrowly survived elimination on last night's episode of Dancing With The Stars. 

- Good news for Tonya... GREAT news for her opponents' kneecaps.  

*****

Adele is taking heat on social media for throwing herself a Titanic movie themed 30th Birthday party. 

- And just like that her "Hamburgers on The Hindenburg" BBQ planned for this weekend was cancelled.  

*****

Democrat NY Attorney General Eric Schneiderman - a vocal supporter of the #MeToo Movement - resigned just 3 hours after 4 women accused him of slapping and choking them during sex. He calls it "role-playing". 

- On the bright side, he's already signed a book deal for a series called "Fifty Spanks By Schneiderman". 

- If the charges pan out, he'll be arrested and handcuffed. Which he'll probably enjoy. 

*****

Facebook is being accused of introducing ISIS members to each other through it's "suggested friends" feature which matches users who have "Liked" similar posts. 

- You know... stuff like "Suicide Vests For Dummies".  

*****

Singer Rhianna is taking heat for showing up at the annual Met Gala in New York dressed up as "A Sexy Version of the Pope". 

- Chris Brown says he had planned on wearing the same outfit, but Rhianna "beat him to the punch". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!

-Dick 

 

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Welcome to Monday and a very special Podcast! Today Jackie and I sit down around the Purtan Dining Room Table to celebrate the Mother of all Holidays... Mother's Day... coming up next Sunday! We'll tell you how our 6 girls turned the traditional M.D. Breakfast-in-Bed into an epic event complete with handmade menus (only Jackie could make an Eggo doused in Mrs. Butterworth's sound like a French creation from Julia Child) and the obstacle course that the girls had to go through to deliver the meal. Plus, how long it took Mom's 50 years ago to prepare family meals each day - compared to today. (God bless the microwave!) Also, at the risk of being accused of Okra-Shaming, I'll let you in on a little secret involving frozen foods and "ugly vegetables". And with Father's day coming up next month, I'll tell you about a great gift... the new "Hybrid" pants for men that can go from backyard BBQ to a night on the town on the fly (so to speak). Why bring up Father's Day Gifts you ask? Well, remember, "If It Wasn't For Your Father Would Your Mother Be Your Mother? So Remember Dad on Mother's Day!" 

Have a great Monday, check out Podcast #227, and I'll see you back here Tuesday! 

-Dick

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