Tuesday, April 26, 2011 at 8:30AM 
On this day in 1607, an expedition including Capt. John Smith landed in Virginia to establish the first permanent English settlement in the Americas.
- The group spent the first night at a Motel 6 after seeing the sign, “We’ll Leave the Candle On For Ya!”
Have a great day and I’ll see you right back here Wednesday!
-Dick
Monday, April 25, 2011 at 12:02PM 
Lindsay Lohan has caught a break…AGAIN! Friday, an L.A. judge reduced the necklace theft charge against her from a felony to a misdemeanor. But parole violations will land her in jail for 120 days - which will most likely be reduced. She was taken to the slammer but released pending appeal. She was also sentenced to 480 hours of community service that will be divided between a women’s shelter and the county morgue. The only jobs there: photographing corpses and clean-up.
- She stole a $25,000 necklace!!! What’s a gal gotta do to get arrested and actually serve real time in Tinsel Town?
- Of course Linsday will have a fit because all of the corpses she will take pictures of will be thinner than she is!
Monday, April 25, 2011 at 12:02PM 
During a performance of his “Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option” tour in Ft. Lauderdale on Saturday, Charlie “The Warlock” Sheen announced that he had lost a member of the show’s cast… Apparently he’s down to just one “Goddess” after porn star and former “Goddess #2”, Bree Olson dumped Charlie… by text. That meant the “girl-on-girl” kiss, many thought to be the highlight of the show, was no not to be.
- Where’s he gonna find another blond porn star to take her place?
- Charlie was confused at first… he thought she was just “Sexting” him again.
- Maybe she just left because she just landed a role in a new porn movie!
Monday, April 25, 2011 at 12:02PM 
Not only did Charlie lose a Goddess, but he experienced another embarrassing moment when he dropped by for an impromptu visit to comedian Drew Carey’s Improv show. Cast members said he smelled so bad, it was all they could do to keep from holding their noses and backed away from him. One guy said he smelled like smoke and old sweat, and appeared not to have showered in days. When Charlie asked, “What? Do I smell or something”, Drew answered, “Well yes actually, you do”.
- Now that’s what I call “A Violent Torpedo of Truth”!
- And so now we know why he got dumped by the Goddess!
- So the fans in Detroit were actually right when they said the show “stunk”!
Monday, April 25, 2011 at 12:01PM 
Saturday, Buchingham Palace released an edited guest list for this week’s Royal Wedding. President Obama didn’t make the cut, but those who did include Elton John, David and Victoria Bechham, and comic Rowan Atkinson best known as “Mr. Bean”. He’s allegedly a close friend of Prince Charles.
- Wow. They get Elton John. At our wedding reception, we’d didn’t even have a band! The only singer was my crazy Aunt Helen doing her rendition of “The Hokey Pokey”.
- Camilla wanted to invite her friends, the Budweiser Clydesdales, but the Queen put her foot down.
- They were going to invite Dennis Rodman, but they were afraid he might wear the same dress as the bride.
Monday, April 25, 2011 at 12:01PM 
A USC study found that people who’ve had Botox not only can’t make facial expression themselves, they have a harder time reading other people’s emotions and recognizing their expressions.
- Maybe they can read other people’s emotions… they just can’t show it!
- Scientists admit they still have a few “wrinkles to iron out” when it comes to Botox.
Monday, April 25, 2011 at 12:01PM 
Health researchers have some shocking news for people who like to eat while driving: they found that the average steering wheel carries nine times more bacteria than the average public toilet seat - and it’s the kind that causes food poisoning. They blame it on people leaving fast food wrappers in their cars. Only one-third of the people surveyed said they clean their cars interior “at least once a year,” and 10% say the NEVER wipe off the steering wheel.
- I don’t get food on my steering wheel… I steer with my knees so I can drive and eat at the same time!
- Driver’s Ed teachers are now calling it the “Ten and Two and Toss Your Cookies” position.
- Another great reason to be a back seat driver!
Monday, April 25, 2011 at 9:12AM 
On this day in 1945, delegates from 50 countries met in San Francisco to organize the United Nations.
- 50 years later, somebody figured out it might be a good idea to hire some translators.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!
-Dick
Friday, April 22, 2011 at 11:32AM Happy Good Friday! But whether is will be a good Friday in Dearborn today is a question still up in the air. As I write this, Pastor Terry Jones and his associate Wayne Sapp are in a courtroom fighting for their right to hold a protest outside the Islamic Center of America in Dearborn. Why the hearing? Jones and Sapp don’t want to pay the permit fee that could include about $45,000 for the security that police believe would be needed to maintain safety during the anti-Islamic rally Jones plans to hold in front of the largest Mosque in America.
You’ve undoubtably heard about Jones. He infamously held the Koran, the Muslim Holy Book “on trial” in his church in Florida last month, found it guilty of inciting murder among other things, and had his friend, Sapp, set in on fire. The event, captured on video set off violent protests as far away as Afghanistan and led to the murdering of a number of Christians.
The two showed up in court today wearing Harley Davidson T-Shirts and jeans - and are acting as their own council. They claim they have no intentions of burning another Koran and claim that their rally will not incite any violence. (But they claimed the same thing a month ago and then did it anyway… inciting not only violence, but the murder of Christians in the Middle East).
Jones claims that this is about the First Amendment… Free Speech. And while Free Speech is one of the things that makes this country great (and different from so many others who oppress their own citizens) - this is also about COMMON SENSE.
And in my humble opinion, COMMON SENSE would dictate that this so-called man of God would not risk the lives of so many others (a second time) under the guise of “My Right to Free Speech”. It’s nothing but grand-standing - but with potentially devastating results… again!
So make this a truly “Good Friday” Mr. Jones, and take your opinions elsewhere. They say there is a time and place for everything. Well, today is not the time. And outside the largest Mosque in this country is not the place.
*****
And now on to something a little lighter. (Or heavier depending how you look at it). With the Royal Wedding just a week away, Big Al donned his “Queenly attire” and made an appearance on the Fox 2 morning show. As you’ll note in both videos… it looks like Her Majesty - in her Easter Bonnet - has packed on a few pounds! Just click on picture to play!
‘The Queen’ Pays a Visit to FOX 2: MyFoxDETROIT.com
‘The Queen’ Pays a Visit to FOX 2: MyFoxDETROIT.com
Have a wonderful Holiday Weekend and I’ll see you back here Monday!
-Dick
Thursday, April 21, 2011 at 11:17AM 
Wednesday, Weird Al Yankovic revealed how he’s been jerked around by Lady Gaga to block his parody of her hit, “Born This Way,” which he just posted on the the internet. In the ensuing firestorm, Gaga insisted she loves Weird Al and never even heard the song. Her manager finally admitted he’d been speaking for her and she had never even heard it. Now, with her blessing… the song will be released.
- So Lady Gaga loves Weird Al Yankovic… Let’s just hope they never have kids together!
Here’s the video for your enjoyment…
BTW: FROM WIERD AL TO BIG AL… Tomorrow we’ll bring you not one but two videos of our own Big Al on FOX2 dressed as Queen Elizabeth! He/She tells all about the upcoming Royal Nuptials and his life after radio! You won’t (or maybe you will) want to miss it!
