A British gambling site reports that it’s gotten more bets for HILLARY to win the 2020 Prez Election than any of the Democrats running.
- Must be payback for us winning the Revolutionary War.
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A study found that Orlando is the most dangerous place to walk… with more than 5000 pedestrians being hit by cars last year.
- Most of them were hit by the 8th Dwarf. Let’s see… there’s Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, Dopey - and, oh yeah…“TEXTY”.
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New research out of Canada found that people who snore sleep just as soundly as people who don’t.
- Notice they failed to mention the person sleeping NEXT TO the person who snores.
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The country of Turkey’s Supreme Court of Appeals has ruled that employees who gossip at work can be fired without severance pay.
- It’s a good thing for Joy Behar that “The View” is just Hosted BY Turkeys, not BROADCAST from there.
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A Royal insider says that Queen Elizabeth - who is worth $530 million - is so frugal she wears 40 year old gloves, reuses wrapping paper & bows, and has guests at Buckingham Palace sleep on old sheets.
- Apparently the only thing the Queen would happily throw out is Meghan Markle.
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Kanye West beat out Jay-Z to become hip-hop’s richest star with a net worth of $150 Mil compared to Jay-Z’s paltry $81 Mil.
- Kanye’s married to Kim Kardashian and Jay-Z is married to Beyonce… so Kanye also took home the “Wife With the Most Junk in Her Trunk” award.
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Speaking of Trunks… A doctor from Pittsburgh is claiming that recently hired New England Patriot Antonio Brown not only owes him for past due bills, but repeatedly “broke wind” on purpose while the doc was giving him an exam.
- This explains why Brown is a Wide Receiver and not a Tight End.
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Scientists say that because the ancient human pelvis was wider 2 Million years ago, giving birth back then was “Relatively Easy”.
- NOTE: The Scientists who mentioned the “Relatively Easy” part were all Men.
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I was told by several people that Howard Stern mentioned me again (in a good way!) on his network show a couple of days ago. Thanks as always Howard for the kind words!
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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!
-Dick