Unknown-19.jpeg

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex have named their newborn son Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor.

- Archie has red hair and will attend Riverdale High.

- The baby was named for his Great Uncle - Perceval Alexander “Jughead” Jones.

*****

Dennis Rodman has been accused of helping a female companion shoplift hundreds of dollars of workout clothes from a California Yoga Studio.

- Dennis is a regular. He’s trying to get in shape to fit in his next wedding dress.

*****

Meat Loaf broke his collarbone after falling off the stage at an event in Texas.

- The injury forced Meatloaf to cancel his upcoming tour with the Black Eyed Peas and Bread.

*****

A group of “Exorcist Specialists” have gathered in Rome to exchange the best practices for getting rid of demons.

- In Liberal circles the practice is known as “Impeachment”.

*****

Norway's new Health Minister says she doesn’t want to be the "moral police", adding “I believe people should be allowed to smoke, drink and eat as much red meat they want.”

- Finally! A politician that embodies American values. Too bad she’s in Norway.

- Health Advocates said “We can’t aFjord her irresponsible policies”.

*****

NASA is “Preparing” for a Gigantic Asteroid known as “The God of Chaos” that will come close to Earth in 2029.

- How do you “Prepare” for a Gigantic Asteroid?? Whatever you do… DON’T do what the Dinosaurs did.

*****

On this day in 1502 Christopher Columbus left Spain on his fourth and final trip to the New World.

- Who could ever forget the rhyme we ALL learned in elementary school: “IN 1502… COLUMBUS SAILED THE OCEAN BLUE”. When my 2nd Grade teacher Mrs. Tennent corrected me, I said “So I’m off by 10 years. Big deal.” She gave me a “D”. (But she still gave me the lead role in the school play “Peter Rabbit” - True!!)

*****

Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!

-Dick

1 Comment