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All 16 charges against Jussie Smollett have been dropped in exchange for TEN GRAND and 18 HOURS OF COMMUNITY SERVICE… even though the Mayor, Police and Prosecutors say “He lied”.

- In Chicago this is known as “Juss-tice”… otherwise known as “Bizarro World”.

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The Pentagon has authorized $1 Billion for President Trump’s Border Wall.

- Add that to what Mexico has agreed to pay and it totals… 1 Billion dollars!

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A bad day for AOC yesterday as the Senate UNANIMOUSLY voted down her “Green New Deal” 57-0 including some Democrats.

- Her opponents let out a collective sigh of relief… and Cows across America collectively passed gas.

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Reynolds Wrap has unveiled a “Hunger Harness” to be worn during March Madness. It turns the wearer into a “Human Table” by strapping it to your chest to hold beer, pizza and wings.

- Sounds great… but won't it smear my “Go Blue! Go Green!” Chest Paint???

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Want to make a fast 20 grand? NASA is hiring people to lie in bed for two months and watch TV to help them understand how space travel will affect astronauts.

- They originally offered the job to Millennials but they said they were too tired to get off their parents couches to go to work and lay down.

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Madonna says she’s launching a full fledged comeback tour at the age of 60.

- And her song “Like a Virgin” is just as true now as it was when she first released it in 1984!!

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Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!

-Dick

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