It’s official: Elizabeth Warren will run for President in 2020.

- She’s already got a campaign slogan: “Hopi and Change You Can Believe In”.


Lady Gaga is standing by her statement that it’s hard for women to be taken seriously in the music industry.

- Ya think the fact that she wears Meat dresses has something to do with it??


A study out of the University of Pennsylvania found that people’s moods tend to vary depending on how their cities professional sports teams are performing.

- Which explains why people around here are excited for the first 3/4 of the day… and then their mood tanks at the end.


A Florida man says he “has no idea” how three syringe needles that police found in his buttocks during a strip search got there.

- In his defense, the man admits that even on a good day he doesn’t know his A** from a hole in the ground.


Fidel Castro’s grandson “Tony” is taking heat for posting pics of his BMW and yacht on social media while the average citizen of Cuba makes $30 a month.

- I’m beginning to think this whole “Communism” thing doesn’t work.


Authorites in Singapore became curious after they heard “Meowing” coming from the bulge in a mans pants and found four kittens he was attempting to smuggle into the country. 

-Thus the expression, “Is that a Cat in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” 

- This is the first time in history that Curiosity SAVED the cat. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!