BRRRRRR… How cold is it???
It’s so cold the Kardashian sisters are wearing Underwear.
According to a new law in Iran it’s now illegal to walk your dog in public or take it for a ride in the car.
- Apparently the dogs barking was covering up all the “Death to America” chants by the Ayatollahs.
- Let me get this straight… You can’t dress your Dog in a Burka (or is that a Barka??) and go outside anymore?
Jeff Bezos’ is trying to find out how the racy text messages he sent to his girlfriend ended up in The National Enquirer. He’s convinced the leak was “politically motivated”.
- I’m thinking the leak came from his girlfriend and was motivated by “Something in His Pants”. (Like $140 Billion for starters).
KFC is test marketing a new Fried Chicken & Cheetos Sandwich with a special Cheetos flavored Cheese Sauce.
- I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to mess up my diet by adding Cheetos to a perfectly healthy Fried Chicken Sandwich.
A Democrat porn star is ending her long shot 2020 bid to “Make America F---ing Awesome Again” after her campaign failed to get off the ground.
- Because she failed to get out of bed to promote it.
- Her slogan “Hope & Change-for-a-Twenty You Can Believe In” just didn’t catch on.
50 percent of Americans say they get in fights while playing Monopoly… compared with only 18 percent of people who play Scrabble.
- There’s a word for people who fight during Scrabble, but I can’t give it to you because I’m all out of vowels.
- Speaking of “Community Chest”… Madonna is said to be a big fan of Monopoly.
In an effort to provide more fertilizer for State run farms, Kim Jong Un has ordered each resident of North Korea to hand over 3 tons of “human waste” each month.
- I say Lil Kim should have to go first. He looks like he’s carrying around 3 tons of something.
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday!