President Trump tweeted that people who don't like him are suffering from "Trump Derangement Syndrome".
- So exposure to Trump will give you TDS. Exposure to Stormy Daniels will give you an STD.
*****
The Brady Bunch home in California is on the market for $1.8 Million. It was purchased in 1973 for $61,000.
- Forget about "Location, Location, Location!". It's all about "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!"
- The house is in a great neighborhood, plus you get free meat delivery from Sam the Butcher.
*****
A friend of Matt Lauer's claims that Matt wants to get back on TV so badly, he's wiling to give up sex completely to make it happen.
- I say whatever Matt does behind closed (and remotely locked) office doors is his own business.
*****
A 21 year old waitress at "Vinnie's Van-Go-Go's" restaurant in Georgia threw a man onto the floor then had him arrested after he touched her butt.
- Whatever happened to turning the other cheek?
*****
A palace insider has revealed that Queen Elizabeth hates Garlic and forbids anyone in the Royal Family to eat it for fear their breath will smell like garlic.
- This explains their "Special Wave"... it's to blow away the garlic breath of Royal Family members who disobey the Queen.
*****
68 year old Caitlyn Jenner donned a black dress and heels at last night's ESPY Awards - which she attended with her 22 year old girlfriend Sophia.
- What can those two crazy girls have in common? I mean, other than fake boobs?
*****
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!
-Dick