Kim Jong Un just blinked... saying that he's decided against firing nuclear missiles at Guam, but has reserved the right to "change his mind if the foolish and stupid conduct of the Yankees continues". 

- I knew Dennis Rodman could get the job done! (U.S. General, Defense Secretary James Mattis'  comment that if KJU fired those missiles "It's Game On" obviously scared the pants off KJU... and those are some big pants. 


Meanwhile, some U.S. doctors say KJU's aggressive tendencies may be due to "Roid Rage" - claiming he takes steroids to treat Gout brought on by eating too much Cheese. 

-  Who knew the fate of the world could come down to a chunk of Velveeta. 


A Denver DJ found guilty of groping Taylor Swift says he plans to appeal the verdict and claims Taylor lied about him putting his hand up her skirt. 

- Taylor said he can appeal all he wants but they are "never, ever, ever getting back together in court again". 


The "Church of Cannabis" is now officially open in Denver. 

- But nobody showed up for Sunday services because they couldn't remember how to get there. 

- If you want to stop by, just look for the building with the statue of the Virgin Mary-Juana outfront. 


Tom Cruise was injured during a stunt jump from one building to another on the set of the new Mission Impossible movie. 

- It wasn't the first time Tom has come up short. 


Willie Nelson ended his Salt Lake City show early due to sickness from "high altitude". 

- Insert your own punchline. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!