President Trump told a rally in Youngstown, Ohio that "with the exception of the late, great Abraham Lincoln" he can be "more Presidential than any other President in US History". 

- So look for him to start referring to himself as "Honest Don". 


This morning, Trump tweeted that there will be No Transgenders allowed in the Military. 

- And just like that Caitlyn Jenner's dream of serving in a foxhole with a bunch of guys in uniform goes up in smoke. 


New research shows Sperm counts among Western men have plunged to a record low... falling by more than 50% in 40 years. 

- Experts blame chemicals found in everyday products... and the "New Math" which has made it harder to count the little guys accurately. 


Experts warn that Iran is on the brink of attempting to launch a satellite into Space. 

- Our only hope is that North Korea fires a missile that shoots it down. 


An International study found that contrary to popular belief, Money CAN buy happiness... as long as you spend it on things that save you time, like hiring a housekeeper. 

- They came to the conclusion by interviewing a Mr. A. Schwarzenegger.  


Ann Arbor has been named the "Most Educated City in America". 

- Students in Columbus, Ohio were like, "That ain't true!"


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!