Lines may be longer when Cedar Point opens this Saturday with increased security. They've installed metal detectors at all of the entrances. 

- How about they also install "I'm With Stupid" T-Shirt Detectors.


President Trump broke with decades of tradition by NOT attending the Annual White House Correspondents Dinner Saturday night. 

- He figured if he wanted to get roasted, he could just turn on the TV news. 


The owner of "Simon" the giant bunny that died in the cargo hold of a United Airlines flight says she when she tried to get him back, the airline told her they had cremated the rabbit without her consent. 

- United is kind of the "Glenn Close" of airlines. 


Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue will begin dismantling Michelle Obama's school lunch program today. 

- So kids, if you're a fan of Kale McNuggets & Tofu Fries, you'd better get 'em while they last. 


A Facebook survey found that just 32% of Americans trust the Media. 

- So they turn to a more reliable source for their news... Facebook. 


Almost a year after her co-host Michael Strahan infuriated Kelly Ripa by not telling her he was leaving their show, Ripa has announced the new co-host of "Live With Kelly". And the winner is... Ryan Seacrest. 

- To keep the older audience happy, they're going to change his name to "Regis Seacrest". 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!