Matt Lauer has been fired by NBC's Today Show after a staffer came forward claiming the $25 Million a year longtime host had sexually assaulted her during the 2016 Rio Olympics... and they don't believe it's a one-time incident.  

- Finally an answer to the question "Where In The World Is Matt Lauer?". He's in the Unemployment Line.  

*****

Meanwhile a male staffer who used to work for John Conyers says almost everyone who worked for Conyers saw him in his underwear. 

- The man's name is Bob Weiner. Seriously. Bob Weiner. You can't make this stuff up. 

*****

The President of the Navajo Nation said it was culturally insensitive for President Trump to call Elizabeth Warren "Pocahontas" during a ceremony honoring Native Americans. 

- Trump immediately Tweeted: "I meant NO offense! Honest Injun!" 

*****

Pamela Anderson sent Kim Kardashian a Faux fur coat for Christmas along with a litter begging Kim to stop wearing fur. 

- Most people don't care what Kim wears... as long as she wears SOMETHING. 

*****

Troubled Mexican restaurant chain Chipotle is looking to hire a new CEO. 

- Interested applicants must have a BA, MBA, PhD and an E. Coli.

- The current CEO is stepping down "due to health reasons". Apparently he's been eating at his own restaurant. 

*****

A British company has developed a "Smart Condom" that will record data from your performance and give you a rating. 

- If the man's results are announced by Siri... It would be the new high tech version of a "Threesome". 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 

-Dick