Stove Top Stuffing has launched a pair of $20 unisex Thanksgiving Dinner Pants complete with a stuffing print stretchable belly waistband to allow for maximum Thanksgiving Dinner consumption. 

- They come in 3 sizes: Small, Medium and Michael Moore. 


GQ Magazine has named Colin Kaepernick 2017's "Citizen of the Year". 

- Look for the issue next week at a News-Stand near you... or in this case, a "News Kneel". 

- In a related story, they named The Harvey Weinstein scandal "The Most Touching Story of the Year". 


The world's first "Politically Motivated Hotel" will open in D.C. next year, designed to offer Liberals a "safe place" to stay with like-minded people and will even offer art supplies so guests can make protest signs. 

- Sleeping arrangements aren't very comfortable since the rooms only come with a Left side of the bed. 

- Repubs will stick with the Trump Hotel - or as some call it, "The Orange Roof Inn". 


New guidelines have changed the threshold for High Blood Pressure from 140/90 to 130/80 - meaning 14% more Americans now have hypertension. 

- Doctors say patients should reduce salt intake, but more importantly, stop reading political rants on Facebook immediately. 


Cryogenic scientists in Russia say they want to freeze people BEFORE before they die, so they have a better chance of bringing them back to life in the future. 

- Hey I grew up in Buffalo... being frozen when your alive is no news to me.


A Dunkin Donuts worker is accused of selling heroin during his shifts.

- In honor of the Holidays, it was Pumpkin Spice heroin!


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!