So as not to offend anyone, U of M students can now choose the pronoun they wish to be referred to, including "He", "She" and "Ze" or "Hir" for students who aren't sure which gender they are. 

- And instead of "Go Blue"... Alumni are now asked to say "Go Roy G Biv" so All Colors of the rainbow feel included. 

- This is going to make rushing Fraternities and Sororities a lot more complicated.

- I wouldn't want to the TV announcer who has to describe who just scored the touchdown. 


Facebook users are being warned not to believe a scam post claiming that Brad Pitt is dead. 

- It was posted by an A. Jolie. 

- Friends are urging Angelina to ADOPT a nicer attitude towards Brad. 


Hillary and Donald are both claiming that they won Monday night's debate. 

- Look for the same thing to happen the day after the election. 


Meanwhile The Donald says the reason it seemed like he was sniffing so much at the debate was because someone monkeyed with his microphone. 

- When I hear "Monkeying with his microphone"... Bill Clinton always comes to mind. 


A British study found that wearing polyester pants can lower a person's sex drive. 

- The study also found that if you wear polyester pants, you gave up on sex a long time ago.


Switzerland has banned Muslim women from wearing Burkas in public. 

- Yet it still perfectly legal for Men to wear Speedos. Where is the justice???


Scientists have revealed that people who suffer from acne as teens will look much younger later in life and will actually live longer than their smooth skinned classmates.

- I hope Joan Lyke reads this and regrets turning me down for the Freshmen Homecoming Dance. 

- So I should have saved all of the money I spent on Clearasil. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!