Olympic Gold Medals aren't worth as much as you might think. They're actually made of more than 95% scrap silver making each one worth just $587 dollars. 

- Which is exactly why I gave up training for the Men's Synchronized Swim Team.


Republicans have released a two and half minute video which they say proves that Hillary Clinton perjured herself in her email investigation testimony. 

- The Obama Administration has vowed to investigate the claim... right after the election. 


New video has gone viral of a diaper wearing monkey attacking an employee in a Walmart parking lot in Ohio. 

- There were actually 3 monkeys involved... a Mr. M. Nesmith, a Mr. P. Tork, and a Mr. M. Dolenz. 

- The monkey was mad because he thought the Greeter was wearing a nicer diaper. 


A man will not face charges after riding his horse into a Taco Bell in Texas. 

- I think the real question here is why he didn't just go to the Ride-thru window? 

- The majority of Texans support the guy on the horse...according to a Gallop poll. (Bada boom!)


Burger King has introduced a new half-burger-half-burrito called the "Whopperito" that packs 570 calories and 26 grams of fat.

- For those of you watching your weight... they're offering the "Whopperito Jr."

- I thought "Whopperito" was the name of the Cisco Kid's sidekick. 


Singer Adele says she's turned down the NFL's offer to headline the 2017 Super Bowl Halftime Show... but the NFL says they never asked her to appear. 

- Hello? 


Panda Express says their restaurants will soon be offering "The Chork", which is half chopstick and half fork. 

- I thought "The Chork" was a new dance craze started by Miley Cyrus. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!