A California woman who was training for a Triathlon was attacked by a Great White Shark.
- Oops... That's not very Politically Correct of me... I meant, the woman was attacked by a Plus-Sized Caucasian Shark.
Billy Joel dedicated a rendition of "The Entertainer" to Donald Trump during his concert in New York.
- He also dedicated "Honesty" to Hillary Clinton.
Kim Jong Un says that he and Donald Trump see eye-to-eye.
- That's as long as Kim's wearing his heels.
The family of the boy who fell into the Gorilla pen at the Cincinnati Zoo is asking people to send donations to the Zoo rather than to them.
- They don't need money...what they really need is a "child-leash".
Donald Trump said Hillary Clinton not only "lies" but has "no natural talent" to be President of the United States.
- It should be noted that neither one one of them has the "natural hair color" to be President.
American Airlines is being criticized for pulling several overweight passengers off a plane because the plane was too heavy to take off.
- It's expensive, but this is why I always check my emotional baggage at the gate.
A JetBlue passenger in Seattle was asked to change after the crew decided that her shorts were too short.
- This is the kind of story I'd expect to hear from Virgin Airlines.
The U.S. Border Patrol has formally endorsed Donald Trump for President.
- Trump called it "A giant wall of support".
69 year old Rolling Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood and his 38 year old wife, Sally, welcomed twin baby girls this week.
- Sally said she's thrilled, but admits it's tough keeping three people in diapers.
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Friday!