I hope you had a super Easter! Of all the colored eggs my favorite is definitely Orange - in honor of my Alma Mater Syracuse making it to the NCAA Final Four!
A report in the National Enquirer claims that Ted Cruz has been having affairs with 5 different women.
- Bill Clinton immediately criticized Cruz...calling him "an amateur".
Donald Trump is a grandfather again. His daughter Ivanka gave birth to her third child, Theodore James, Sunday afternoon.
- At first he called the baby "Ugly"...but then realized it was a boy.
A single mother in Australia has married the sperm donor that contributed to the conception of her child.
- She's even taking his name and will now be known as "Mrs. Donor #172".
A study by InfoPlease found that Americans consume enough jelly beans on Easter to circle the globe 3 times.
- No one seems to know how many marshmallow chicks were eaten on Easter...in fact I haven't heard a Peep.
President Obama used his Easter Address to assure Americans that he will stop at nothing to defeat ISIS.
- And he'll get to that as soon as the NCAA tournament is over. Until then, we probably won't hear a Peep out of him. (Sorry for using the same punchline, but it only comes around once a year.)
An American Airlines co-pilot will face a judge today after being arrested at Metro Airport for failing a breathalyzer test before flying the plane.
- In addition to bail, the pilot will be forced to pay the airline for trying to board with too much emotional baggage.
A study by NASA found that it would cost $10 Billion to start human colonies on the moon.
- But if it comes to that, or having your adult kids move into your basement, most people say they'd be willing to chip in for the colony.
Despite almost unanimous bad reviews by critics, "Batman Vs. Superman" took in a whopping $170 Million in it's opening weekend.
- The critics were so embarrassed, they slipped into a phone booth and changed their minds.
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!