Hillary Clinton says the thought of having Bill as her Vice President has crossed her mind, but she doesn't think it would be allowed under the Constitution. 

- Hey it's a natural... When you think "Vice"... you think Bill Clinton!

*****

A Gitmo prisoner accused of being a close associate of Osama Bin Laden has a dating profile on Match.com in which he describes himself as "Detained but ready to mingle". 

- It also says he's "Looking for a virgin"... 72 of 'em. 

- He joined Match after a few bad experiences on eBurka.com

*****

NBC announced that Arnold Schwarzenegger will replace Donald Trump as the host of The Apprentice. 

- Instead of saying "You're Fired", Ahnold will say "You're Terminated". 

*****

During a 90 minute speech in front of 20,000 Texans Monday, Donald Trump actually had women in the audience crying because they were so happy. 

- A lot of women end up in tears around The Donald...but it's usually because he just insulted them. 

*****

Brian Williams announced that he will make his MSNBC debut on September 22. 

- He wanted to start on September 1st, but claims that the network shot him down. 

*****

Kim Kardashian launched a new website and App yesterday that let's her fans in on everything from fashion tips to photos, and for just $2.99 you can get private info about Kim's life. 

- It's a scam! There IS NO private info about Kim's life! 

*****

North Korea's Kim Jong Un has threatened the U.S. with a nuclear attack that could come "at any time". 

- Sounds like somebody ran out of relatives to kill. 

*****

Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday! 

-Dick