Kim Jong Un is at it again... He ordered the North Korean Defense Minister killed with an anti-aircraft missile. Why? Because the man fell asleep while Kim was speaking at a meeting.
- He picked up this idea from the Radio business, where when you fall asleep during company meetings, they threaten to Fire you - but not Fire AT you. Kim just took it a step further.
President Obama announced that his Presidential Library will be located in the South Side of Chicago.
- "But if you go down there, you better just beware, of a man named LeRoy Brown".
- The Library is expected to attract thousands of visitors...but still not as many as the "Adult Section" of the Bill Clinton Presidential Library in Arkansas.
Starbucks announced that they're going to be selling mini Frappuccinos between now and July 6th.
- It's perfect for people who want to cut down on Caffeine but still spend a ridiculous amount of money.
- Is it just me or does "Mini Frappuccino" sound like a short, Italian rapper?
Lindsay Lohan failed to show up at a Brooklyn Children's Center where she was scheduled to fufill her community service.
- So now the little kids are going to have to figure out how to spike their juice boxes all by themselves.
Google has admitted that four of their computerized "self-driving" cars have crashed in the past 9 months.
- Thus breaking the previous record held by Billy Joel.
Kanye West received an honorary PhD from the Art Institute of Chicago.
- His wife Kim Kardashian was so proud saying "OMG! Now we have a Doctor in the house in case there are any...like...medical emergencies!"
A study by the New York Post says the average lifespan of a New Yorker increased to 81 years while Michael Bloomberg was the Mayor of NYC.
- Hey...If you can make it to 81 there, you can make it to 81 anywhere!
A 33 year old Oklahoma man pleaded guilty to killing his step-father by giving him an "Atomic Wedgie" during a family fight. He pulled the man's underwear up so high, the waistband went around his neck and suffocated him.
- I'm sure he'll be enjoying a few atomic wedgies of his own when the guys in prison find out what he's in for.
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!