A New Jersey shopping mall is charging kids $50 to sit on Santa's lap.

- And for $75 dollars, the kids' Dads can get Santa's Helper "Mistletoe" to give them a lap dance. 

- Remember the good old days when your kids could sit on Santa's lap and wet their pants for free? 


Soccer star David Beckham has been named People magazine's "Sexist Man Alive" for 2015. 

- Meanwhile "Oppressed People Magazine" chose Kim Jong Un as it's "Sexist Dictator Alive" for the 5th year running. 


Bill Clinton will be on the campus of MSU tonight to deliver a speech on Public Service. 

- And if anybody knows about being serviced by the public, it's Bill Clinton. 


The CIA now believes that ISIS planned the Paris Attacks on a Playstation 4. 

- They're now looking for two additional suspects known only as "Mario" and "Luigi". 


Between 11am and 3pm tomorrow, people in and around Detroit can order a flu shot which will be delivered to their homes by Uber within 10 minutes for just 10 bucks. 

- This is a change for Uber which usually delivers PEOPLE to their homes after they've had too many Shots.


The Oxford English Dictionary has named "Emoji" as their word of the year. 

- The news was greeted by hundreds of thousands of Happy Faces on Twitter. 


Taco Bell announced that by the end of 2016, they'll use only "cage free" eggs in their breakfast wraps. 

- The move is in line with the "meat free meat" they've been serving in their Tacos since they opened in 1962.


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!