A bad weekend for Michigan and Michigan State in College Football...as well as the entire Big 10 Conference. 

The Tigers begin a 3-game series against the K.C. Royals downtown tonight, trailing the 1st place Royals by 2 games. 


Joan Rivers received a star-studded, red carpet funeral on Sunday...including a eulogy by Howard Stern and musical performances by broadway stars Audra MacDonald and Hugh Jackman. 

- Those who attended the viewing said, "She looks so Un-lifelike...just like in real life." (Sorry...but she did have a lot of plastic surgery). 

- Out of respect, no one critiqued the outfit she was buried in. 


President Obama will make a speech on Wednesday to reveal America's plans for attacking ISIS. 

- He was going to announce his plans tonight, but he hasn't come up with anything yet. 

- Holding off until Wednesday will give ISIS plenty of time to put on their "JV Jihad" Jerseys and set their DVR's so they can watch our game plan over and over. 


An IRS spokesman said the agency has lost emails from five more workers who are under investigation. 

- How come the IRS can find paperwork that they say shows you owe an extra grand in taxes, but they find can't find a few of their own emails? 

- All we have to do is tell Kate Upton's photo hackers that the emails contain nude pix of Lois Lerner and we'll have them in no time. 


After weeks of speculation it's official: Prince William and Kate Middleton are expecting their second royal bundle of joy. The new baby will be fourth in line to the throne, bumping Prince Harry down to #5. 

- Just like the last time, Kate is suffering from severe morning sickness and Harry is suffering from a severe hangover. 


On Saturday, the city of Toronto held a "Bill Murray Day" complete with wacky outfits and a pub crawl. 

- By the end of the pub crawl, 95% of the participants mimicked Bill's line from Caddyshack and "had achieved total Un-consiousness...So they've got that going for 'em. Which is nice." 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Tuesday!