24-year-old Playboy model Cathy Schmitz married 81-year-old Australian Billionaire Richard Lugner over the weekend. 

- She said it was “Love at first sight!”…of his bank balance. 

- Despite their wealth, they celebrated at Denny’s because he gets the Senior Discount and she can still order off the kids menu. 

- Friends of the couple say it won’t be long before the lovebirds will be changing Diapers… 

- They actually have a lot in common…her biological clock is ticking, and as of this writing, so is his heart. 


Sarah Palin says she owes America an apology for losing the 2008 election to Barack Obama. 

- According to most polls, Barack Obama owes America an apology for Winning the 2008 election. 


Scientists have discovered a plant-eating dinosaur that weighs more than a T-Rex. 

- They’re calling it a “Vege-Sauraus”. 

- They discovered the bones near a the ruins of a “Whole Foods” store. 


British Prime Minister David Cameron says he’ll be devastated if Scotland and England break up. 

- Insiders say he feels the same way about Beyonce and Jay Z. 


A report by USA Today says 38 NFL players have been arrested this so far this year. Last year a total of 57 were arrested. 

- So if you want to kill two birds with one stone, forget watching “Cops” and just tune in to Monday Night Football. 


Ray Rice and his wife received a huge ovation from the crowd when he returned to his high school football field on Saturday. 

- It makes sense if you consider that in his senior year he was voted “Most Likely To Beat The Bejabbers Out Of Your Future Wife In An Elevator”. 

- So they’ll boo a ref for making a bad call, but they applaud Ray Rice…It’s good to see they’ve got their priorities in order. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Tuesday!