The results of yesterday's Primary Election are in...and among the most interesting outcomes, Robert Ficano lost his re-election bid for Wayne County Executive, and both Hazel Park & Oak Park voted to legalize small amounts of marijuana for personal use.  

- So the expression "What do I have to do to get arrested with this joint?" will no longer be spoken there. 


The production of Porn movies in LA has plummeted 90% because laws forcing the "actors" to wear condoms is pushing filming outside the city limits. 

- Porn stars are sort of like cops...they want to "Serve", they just don't want to "Protect". 

- As a humanitarian gesture, Charlie Sheen is building them a studio in San Francisco. 


Bruce Jenner's new hairstyle is causing quite a stir on the internet. He was recently photographed with shoulder length locks with a reddish tint.  

- Bruce says the new style will allow him to go with a sleek up-do at Kim's next wedding. 

- Insiders say his ultimate dream is to become "Mrs. Chaz Bono". 


NBC may face stiff fines from the FCC after airing Miley Cyrus's "Bangerz" concert. Viewers complained about the stripper-like costumes and Miley pressing up against a guy dressed like Abraham Lincoln.  

- Asked to comment, Bill Clinton said "The President did not have sex with that woman...Miss Cyrus". 


A study from Current Biology found that horses talk with their ears. 

- Baloney. Everyone who's ever seen "Mr. Ed" knows that horses talk out of their Mouths just like the rest of us.


An Oxford University study found that children who play computer games for an hour a day are more likely to be better behaved...

- ...That's during the hour their playing. Then, when their parents take the controller away, they turn into a combination of Mike Tyson and Rosie O'Donnell on steroids. 


Convicted boyfriend-killer Jodi Arias will serve as her own lawyer in the Death Penalty phase of her trial. 

- She has no experience as an attorney but says she's "willing to take a stab at it". 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!