Queen Elizabeth's Gold Cup winning horse has tested positive for the banned substance Morphine and may be stripped of his crown. 

- Buckingham Palace doctors say that the horse, Camila, has been taking morphine for pain following a "waving to the crowd" injury. 

- Ironically, Prince Charles has considered slipping his mother a dose of Morphine to finally have her stripped of HER crown. 

- There's a rumor the horse also tested positive for pot and alcohol...Sounds like somebody's been partying with Prince Harry. 


A Denver man posted a spreadsheet on the website Reddit detailing each time he asked his wife for sex and the excuse she gave him, ranging from "I'm tired" to "I'm sweaty and gross". He tried everyday from June 3rd to July 16th and only got lucky once. 

- His wife said she was extremely frustrated with the public posting. But not as frustrated as her husband!


Miley Cyrus posted a topless photo of herself on the internet to dispel rumors that she had died. 

- Kidnappers post pix of their captive with a current newspaper to prove their alive, Miley posts a shot of her boobs. 

- Let's hope Rosie O'Donnell never has to post the same kind of picture to prove she's still alive. 


A new book about the Secret Service says Bill Clinton has a current mistress that visits whenever Hillary leaves the house. Her code name? "Energizer". 

- Which is much easier to remember than Monica's code name: "Devil With The Blue Dress On". 

- Boy, if someone hadn't written a book about it, I never would have suspected. 

- Bill makes John F. Kennedy look like one of those nerdy guys in the high school Chess Club. 


Rapper Snoop Dog told Jimmy Kimmel that he got really high at the White House last year - but that it doesn't really count since he lit up in a White House Bathroom. 

- He took a few people in the bathroom with him, so technically it was a meeting of "The Joint Chiefs of Staff". 

- I believe the first musicians to smoke a joint in the White House were the Doobie Brothers. 


The FAA has barred airlines from flying to Israel after a rocket strike hit just one mile from the Tel Aviv airport. 

- Great...now I have to change my weekend getaway plans to someplace safer, like Iraq or Syria. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! 


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