"Archie" Andrews, the red-headed good-guy star of Archie Comics will be killed off by publishers in an edition released tomorrow. He'll die taking a bullet for his gay friend, Kevin Kellner, in an effort to increase gun control awareness. 

- Betty and Veronica are expected to attend the funeral, and Jughead will deliver the eulogy. 


Thanks to a "summer version" of the Polar Vortex, today and tomorrow will feel more like September or the beginning of October, than July.  Highs will barely make 70...with temps dipping into the low 50's during the night. 

- On the down side, you might have to wear a coat. On the bright side, there are no leaves to rake. 

- It hasn't been this cold in July since Bill & Hillary shared a hotel room in 1992. 


Military sources says that former Taliban hostage/guest Sgt. Bowie Bergdahl has been cleared by Army doctors to return to active duty. 

- I'm sure our Veteran's who have been waiting to have their blood pleasure taken at the VA hospital since 2004 are thrilled that he got such top-notch medical attention. 


A group of doctors claim that the new iPad, which contains Nickel, may give people a severe, itchy rash. 

- The exact same symptoms you'll end up with if you spend a night with Madonna. 


Lindsay Lohan has threatened to move out of the US permanently. 

- I take that more as "wishful thinking" than a "threat". 

- Question: Does Malaysian Air fly out of US airports???


A survey by Live Science found that the average person has dreams about doing things that are impossible to do in real life. 

- Things like flying, becoming invisible, and figuring out the US immigration policy. 


In Pennsylvania, a corpse fell out of a coroner's van and on to a busy road. 

- I guess the driver misunderstood when the coroner told him to have the body "run over" to the morgue. 

- Ironically, it happened on a dead end street. 

- The deceased was a woman with fake boobs, giving new meaning to "When the rubber meets the road". 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Wednesday!