"Clinton: The Musical" is about to hit the stage in New York City. Producers say it follows "Two Bills and one Hillary as they prove that politics is Show Biz for ugly people."  The production also features characters including Ken Starr and Monica Lewinsky. 

- Alternate titles for the show include "Fiddled-Her On The Roof", "Damn Wankees" & "Hillary Get Your Gun". 

- The show is said to feature toe-tapping songs including "Oh What A Beautiful Intern!", "Impeachable You" and Monica Lewinsky singing, "I'm Just A Girl Who Can't Say No!"


The Department of Homeland Security is looking to buy 42 thousand pair of men's underwear for illegal detainees from Mexico. Sizes requested range from Small to 6XL. 

- The program is known as "SpongeJuan UnderPants". 

- The guys who need the 6XL's didn't "Run for the Border"...they were rolled across it. 


Joe Biden called himself the poorest man in Congress, saying he doesn't have a single stock, bond or savings account. 

- And we wonder why the economy is so screwed up. 

- He'd put his money where his mouth is...but his foot is already taking up all the space. 


Madonna's daughter Lordes will be attending the University of Michigan starting in the fall. U of M is also her mom's alma mater. 

- And you thought you had trouble convincing your Freshman daughter to stay "Like a Virgin". 

- So attention male students: Get your shots now! 

- You can read all about it in the upcoming issue of "Vogue".


An Environmental Working Group report warns parents that eating too many nutrients can pose health issues for children.

- Translation: Every kid in America is in the clear.


Bob Dylan's handwritten draft of "Like a Rolling Stone" is expected to bring in $2 million at auction this week.

- If his handwriting is better than his singing, we might finally figure out the lyrics!


Lindsay Lohan streaked fully naked across a London department store after trying on clothes.

- She's pulled the same stunt at "Pottery Butt", and "Nudestum". 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!