Paul Simon and his wife, fellow songwriter Edie Brickell, were in court yesterday after a domestic dispute during which one of them called 911. 

- It all started when Edie spotted Paul and a woman named Julia down by the school yard.

- Or maybe her name was Cecilia...

- The couple reportedly wants to make up calling the incident "Water under the Bridge Over Troubled Water."

- Apparently Paul shouldn't have answered Edie's question, "Does my hair look okay?" by saying, "You look like Art Garfunkel".


The NBA will hold a press conference this afternoon to discuss their investigation into LA Clipper's owner Donald Sterling's racist comments. Sterling is heard on tape telling his mistress not to bring any black people to his games. 

- His mistress is half-black and half-hispanic so she's lucky...he allows her to come for the first half. 


A team of scientists at Stanford University have located an "off switch" that shuts down neural activity in the brain. 

- They found the "off switch" in the brain of one D. Sterling of Los Angeles. 


Australia's Prime Minister says that the search for the missing Malaysian Airliner will be expanded. 

- The search area will now include outer space and potholes. 


A Broadway Producer is suing Valerie Harper for dropping out of his production and failing to tell him it was because she had brain cancer. 

- Well I think we've got a shoe-in for this year's "Humanitarian of The Year" Award!


A British study found that men hang onto their underwear for an average of 7 years.

- Before you judge...remember that they turn it inside out about 3 and a half years in.


A Tea Party member running against House Speaker John Boehner has been fired from his day job after running a political ad implying that Boehner suffers from Erectile Dysfunction. The TV spot used very graphic language and parodied the "When the Moments Right" ads from Cialis. 

- This explains why John Boehner always wants to hold Budget Meetings while sitting in a bathtub. 


Have a great day...stay dry...and I'll see you back here Wednesday!