The IRS has paid more that $2.8 Million in bonuses to employees with recent disciplinary problems, including over $1 million to workers who owe back taxes. 

- Well, yeah. They need the IRS bonus money to pay back all that money they owe the IRS! 

- Lois Lerner may have retired...but her spirit lives on. 


A Canadian Pastor has begun holding services in a local strip club. 

- The collection baskets will be replaced by G-Strings. 

- If you plan on attending, keep in mind that there is a "Two Drinks of Communal Wine Minimum". 


Oprah Winfrey's ex-stepmother says that behind her nice, caring facade Oprah is a tyrant and that her relationship with Gayle King is "bizarre" and "unhealthy". 

- Sounds like somebody's trying to push Oprah out of the 20,000 sq. ft. walk-in Closet! 


Toronto Mayor Rob Ford says his reelection campaign is going great. 

- Which means he's got a total lock on the Crack Vote. 


Beyonce and Jay Z announced that they will NOT be attending the upcoming nuptials of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West...but they did rent them a luxury yacht for their post-wedding getaway. 

- And what woman can't use an extra Dingy on her honeymoon? 

- The yacht was picked specifically for Kim and is named "Bottoms Up".


Former First Daughter Chelsea Clinton says she won't discuss the sex of her unborn baby. 

- Meanwhile, her dad Bill says he'll discuss sex with anyone at anytime. 


Today is Administrative Professionals Day...or as it used to be known, "Secretary's Day". 

- So make sure you remind your Administrative Assistant to pick up a nice gift for them self on their lunch hour... and to forge your signature on the card. 


Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday!