“Fifty Shades of Grey” author E.L. James has launched a line of “Fifty Shades of Grey” wine. 

- The biggest sellers so far are “S&M”…Shiraz and Merlot.

- Drink enough of it and you’ll end up naked in fur-lined handcuffs and a blindfold. 

- Wine tasters describe it as “Intense, with leather undertones and a Spanking finish”. 


According to a new study, hangovers are less painful as you get older. 

- That’s because old people already take so many pain killers they can’t even get a headache. 

- The numbers may be off, since most older men think a “hangover” is what happens when his wife takes her bra off. 


Dr. Oz says listening to music keeps you healthy. 

- His personal favorites include “Goodbye Yellow Yellow Brick Road” and anything by “Toto”…not unusual for a guy named “Dr. Oz”. 

- Just don’t “Twerk” while you’re listening, or you may cause people around you to have seizures. 


As of this writing, Texas Senator Ted Cruz is in hour 20 of his Filibuster against Obamacare. He’s not allowed to sit down or take bathroom breaks, but he did manage to work in Dr. Seuss’s “Green Eggs and Ham” as a bedtime story for his young daughters, since he wasn’t home to tuck ‘em in bed. 

- By this morning his bladder was so full, he read “Oh The Places I’ll Go!”


President Obama spoke to the UN yesterday and said that since he took office, “the world is more stable.” 

- Syria-ously?


Miley Cyrus appears on the cover of the new Rolling Stone magazine naked and with her tongue hanging out. 

- So if you haven’t seen Hannah’s Montanas yet…here’s your chance! 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!