Reportedly, the most popular book among Gitmo terrorist detainees is “50 Shades of Grey”, which is requested more often than the Koran. 

- So now instead of planting bombs, the terrorists plan to tie Americans to beds and spank ‘em to death. 

- You can read more about it in their new book “50 Shades of Orange”. 


One of Anthony Weiner’s campaign aides has apologized for calling a former intern on the Mayoral Campaign a “bitch who sucked at her job”.  

- The aide called and emailed the intern to apologize…and Weiner himself followed up with a “special” tweet. 


Despite the continued scandals that surround his campaign, Weiner is airing a TV spot in which he says he won’t drop out of the race. Looking at the camera he says, “Quit isn’t the way we roll in New York City”. 

- And I believe him! He didn’t “quit” tweeting inappropriate pictures of himself even after he had to resign from Congress for tweeting inappropriate pictures of himself. 


Former New York Governor and high priced call girl client Elliot Spitzer said he won’t vote for Anthony Weiner because “that guy’s not fit to be mayor”. 

- He continued saying “I saw London, I saw France…I saw Weiner’s underpants!”

- Pot, meet Kettle. Kettle, this is Pot. 

- Spitzer claims he respects women so much he sometimes calls them “Madam”. 


Today is the day Lindsay Lohan is finally free to leave rehab - but she’s decided she wants to stay longer. 

- Apparently the drugs her friends sneak-in during “Visiting Hour” are way better than the ones she gets at home. 

- I guess she figures she’ll save time by not having to pack her suitcase, unpack it at home, and pack it again next week went she’s sent back to rehab. 


In Israel, an intoxicated woman tossed her cookies in an IKEA store. 

- It only took three employees six hours to put the mop together to clean it up. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday…AUGUST 1st!!!