Barbara Walters used “The View” to deny that she has any plans of retiring despite rampant rumors.
- Or as Barbara called them “Wampant Wumows”.
- She’ll at least stick around long enough to feature Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman as her co-picks for the “Most Fascinating Person of the Year”.
*****
During his Easter prayer on Sunday, Pope Francis made a plea for peace and unity.
- The head of the Detroit City Council replied, “You talkin’ to me?”
- “Peace and Unity” also happen to be two of the names Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were considering for their unborn baby, but decided they were both too “normal”.
- In an effort to get another endorsement deal, Kim and Kanye are seriously looking at the name “South West”.
*****
Contrary to a magazine’s report last week, Forbes say that Madonna is NOT a billionaire.
- They noted that she has, however, slept with a billion men.
*****
A Bible Scholar has taken issue with The History Channel’s popular series “The Bible”.
- To be honest, most people usually prefer the book to the movie.
- Apparently the scholar objected to the portrayal of Eve eating Acai berries instead of an apple because they’re higher in anti-oxidents.
*****
Lindsay Lohan is asking the court if she can still take prescription drugs while she is in a lock-down rehab center.
- She didn’t ask about alcohol…so I guess she just assumes her room has a mini-bar.
*****
Kobe Bryant has movied into fourth place ahead of Wilt Chamerlain on the all-time scoring list.
- No, not THAT scoring list!
*****
On this day in 1513 Ponce de Leon discovered what is now the state of Florida.
- He knew he’d found Florida when he realized all the people were having dinner at 4:30 in the afternoon.
*****
Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday!
-Dick
REMINDER: I’m taking a few weeks off from Podcasting…but all 76 of the ones I’ve done so far are up on the dickpurtan.com homepage! You pick ‘em…You play ‘em!