Just a week after Dennis Rodman’s “peace mission” to North Korea, after which he announced that dictator Kim Jong Un is a “great guy”, that he “loves him”, and that Un “doesn’t want do war”, North Korea announced that their plans call for firing a pre-emptive nuclear missile strike against the U.S. 

- If it’s true, it’s certainly gonna put a kink in their “Bromance”. 


The head of Russia’s Communist Party is calling for a “world wide investigation” into the Cancer death of Hugo Chavez earlier this week. He says it’s “no coincidence” that the leaders of 6 Latin countries known for criticizing the US have been diagnosed with cancer. 

- Wow! We are WAY more powerful than I thought! 

- Notice he blames America for their illnesses, but Vladimir Putin gets all the credit for giving himself six-pack abs. 


To prevent the confirmation of John Brennan as CIA Director - and President Obama’s proposed policy of using drones to kill Americans on American soil, Kentucky Senator Rand Paul did an old-fashioned filibuster. He talked for almost 12 hours. He wasn’t allowed to sit down or even leave the room to go to the bathroom. 

- He just droned on and on…

- The last time a politician went 12 hours with out going to the bathroom was Joe Biden. He misunderstood the rules of the White House “Texas Hold ‘Em” poker tournament. 


For the second time, a Congressional hearing into Global Warming was cancelled due to heavy snow. 

- Well if heavy snow in Washington in March isn’t a sure sign of Global Warming I don’t know what is! 


Justin Bieber was booed at a concert in London for showing up two hours late. 

- Apparently somebody’s afternoon nap ran a little long.


Carrie Fisher has signed on to appear in an upcoming Star Wars movie. She’ll reprise her role as “Princess Leia” the romantic interest of “Han Solo” - who Harrison Ford has already signed on to play again. 

- They’ll still be involved, but in the new movie, Harrison will have to take Viagra to get his Light Sabre to work. 

- In a related story, Michael Moore has expressed an interest in playing “Jabba the Hut”. 


On this day in 1876 Alexander Graham Bell was awarded a patent for the telephone.

- Texters were amazed to find out you could actually use your phone to TALK to someone! 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here tomorrow with a brand new Podcast involving a guest who has a VERY INTERESTING occupation! 



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