Kate Middleton is denying that she tipped-off the sex of the baby she’s expecting when a woman handed her a white teddy bear. Kate responded, “Oh, is this for our d…? Thank you so much!”

- When my wife Gail was pregnant, I made the same “slip of the tongue”… Turns out I was right all SIX times. 

- This means there could be another Queen in Englands future…in addition to Elton John.


Sharp-tongued Venezuelan dictator Hugo Chavez died Tuesday at the age of 58 and will be laid to rest on Friday.  

- Sean Penn is said to be inconsolable. 

- I wonder if Chavez was surprised when he got to Hell and found out the Devil didn’t look anything like George Bush? 

- Well there go Dennis Rodman’s plans for dinner and a movie with Hugo. 


Experts have concluded that static electricity is to blame for the Hindenburg disaster which happened 76 years ago. 

- It took them 76 years to figure this out? 

- This is why I never wear socks when I go on blimp rides over New Jersey. 

- Somebody forget to stock the Hindenburg Laundry Room with sheets of Bounce.


Warren Buffet dropped out of the top three on Forbes list of the world’s richest people. 

- What a loser! 

- Buffet was allegedly so depressed, he’s moved down to Margaritaville to stay with his brother Jimmy for a while. 


A University of Munster study found that having sex can be a partial or complete cure for headaches. 

- The study was made possible by a grant from every married man on the planet. 


Psychology Today reports that the most popular place for people to find love at first sight is Wal-Mart. 

- This explains why the Wal-Mart sign was in all of Brad and Angelina’s wedding photos.  

- It makes sense…You put guns, beer, stretch pants and two lonely people in one room and somethings bound to happen! 


On this date in 1836, the battle of the Alamo took place. 

- It was the beginning of America’s long debate over Immigration. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Thursday!