North Korea has finally confirmed the long-standing rumor that North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Un’s wife gave birth their first child late last year. Experts believe it’s a girl, because the birth of a boy would have been announced immediately. 

- The baby allegedly has her mother’s eyes and her father’s desire to destroy America. 

- Not suprisingly, it was a short labor. 


Meanwhile, Kim Jong Un’s new BFF Dennis Rodman told ABC News that KJ “wants President Obama to call him”. Rodman added that despite all his missile talk, the diminutive dictator said, “Dennis, I don’t want do war.”

- Obama said he’s not ready to call Kim Jong Un, but he would accept a friend request from him on Facebook. 


The CIA admitted that as of now, Dennis Rodman knows more about Kim Jong Un than any other American - including government officials. 

- I think that info will have millions of Americans sleeping better tonight. 


Jamie Lee Curtis wrote an editorial in the Huffington Post about how offended she was by Seth MacFarlane’s joke and his “We Saw Your Boobs” song at the Oscars. 

- Newsflash Jamie! We DID see your boobs in “Trading Places”

- Wait until she see’s his new video, “We Saw On TV That You Have Intestinal Issues!”


Experts say that if you exercise at any time of the day, it can help you get to sleep at night. 

- My favorite time to work out is around 3am when I’m tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep. 


Researchers from the University of California and Spain report that on average, women’s brains are 8% smaller than men’s brains, but they’re organized more efficiently. 

- The women’s brains are also dusted, vacuumed and have a special closet just for thoughts about shoes. 

- The study could be a bit off since we all know that men lie about the size of their…brains. 


Friends of Nadya Suleman, The Octomom, say she’s been exhibiting bizarre behavior lately. 

- Case in point: She hasn’t been artificially inseminated in months! 


A German study found that pessimists live longer. 

- Well that ought to give them something to be optomisitic about! 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Wednesday! 



1 Comment