TIGERS ROOOOOOAAAAAARRRRRED BACK WITH THE BIG BATS FINALLY BOOMING TO TIE SERIES WITH THE A's 2 GAMES A PIECE! DECIDING GAME 5 THURSDAY NIGHT IN OAKLAND. (8:07pm our time!)
Tom Hanks explained his slimmed down figure by revealing that he was recently diagnosed with Type II Diabetes.
- As they say, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get!"
Despite the government shutdown, the official congressional gym remains open.
- It's considered essential because a lot of the congressmen need the pool to continue to tread water.
- They kept it open so the congress people could keep up their cardio workouts...Assuming they actually have hearts to keep healthy.
The leader of al Qaeda is blaming the U.S. for global warming.
- So it's not the heat of the thousands of bombs they're blowing up every five minutes, it's your lawn mower.
- You can tell it's actually being caused by al Qaeda because the biggest Carbon Footprint is in the shape of a sandal.
An 89-year-old drug "mule" pled guilty in a Detroit Courtroom. He's allegedly been transporting cocaine for a Mexican Cartel to Chicago for years.
- He's so old he used to date "Francis the Mule" (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)
A new survey finds that only 46% of Americans have read a book in the last year.
- And of that 46% that did read a book...all 46% most likely read "Shades of Grey".
- It's gotten so bad that even criminals won't read the book the judge throws at them.
A school district right here in Michigan approved a no tag, no chasing policy for kindergartners.
- However adults will still be allowed to play phone tag...for now.
- Up next: PETA will protest for an end to "Duck, Duck, Goose!"
Vladimir Putin was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.
- He was nominated by Vladimir Putin.
- And Edward Snowden.
- And Dennis Rodman.
Have a great day and I'll see you back here Thursday! And GO TIGERS!!!