Former counsel to and foe of Kwame Kilpatrick, Sharon McPhail will testify for the defense in his Federal Corruption Racketeering trial. McPhail, who once accused Kwame of rigging her massage office chair to electrocute her, says she’s comfortable testifying and that she was so busy working, she didn’t see anything illegal going on. 

- I believe her! She was way to busy watching all the illegal stuff going on in the City Council

- She’ll testify while sitting in a specially designed electric massage witness chair. 


Dr. Phil says that Ronaiah Tuiasosopo, the man who masterminded the fake dead girlfriend hoax on Notre Dame’s Manti T’eo said that T’eo was in no way involved in the scheme but that he “fell deeply, romantically in love” with Manti. Manti, however, maintains that he himself is not gay. 

- I’m not sure which is worse, finding out that your imaginary girlfriend is dead, or that she’s alive, is actually a man, and is in love with you. 

- If this guy wanted a football player to make a pass at him, he should have gone after a Quarterback.

- If Notre Dame had a strategy as ingenious as this guy, maybe they would have beaten Alabama. 


Former Vice President Dick Cheney turned 72 on Wednesday. 

- His family was going to throw his a surprise party, but his cardiologist put the kabosh on that. 

- Cheney ended up having dinner with a few close friends, then went quail hunting and accidentally shot ‘em in the face. 


A study from Madrid found that the more housework husbands do, the less sex they have. 

- Unless they’re Arnold Schwarzenegger who has sex with the maid while she’s doing the housework. 


Iran has begun using a new amputation machine to publicly cut off the fingers of convicted thieves. 

- It can cut off a finger and still slice a tomato “this thin!”.

- Ironically, now all the human finger-cutter-off-er’s are going to lose their jobs and will have to start stealing themselves.  


Barbra Streisand has agreed to sing on the Oscars for the first time in 36 years. 

- She’ll do an updated medley of her hits including, “You Don’t Bring Me Flowmax” and “The Way We What?”. 


On this day in 1928 the 3M Company first marketed Scotch Tape. 

- That’s their story and they’re sticking to it. 


Have a great day and I’ll see you back here Friday with a brand new Podcast!