…Or as most kids call it, “A day off school!”


While today President Obama will be sworn in as President with the usual public ceremony, Sunday, because it was the 20th, he took the oath of office at a private swearing-in ceremony. 

- Although, to be honest, it was the Republicans who did most of the swearing.  


At the Iowa State Inaugural Ball, Joe Biden began his speech by declaring, “I’m proud to be President of the United States,” then corrected himself and said, “Vice President.” 

- Biden’s put his foot in his mouth so many times he’s got athlete’s tongue. 


Since San Fransico and Baltimore each won their NFL conference championships, and are coached by brothers John and Jim Harbaugh, this year we’re going to have the world’s first ever Sibling Rivalry Superbowl! 


A study found that wanting things provides people with a bigger “high” than actually having things. 

- Unless the “thing” you have, happens to be a giant bong.  

- Which is why all of us are so much happier than Bill Gates! 


Subway is in hot water because their “Foot Long” subs are actually less than twelve inches long. 

- Which came as a surprise to exactly none of the women in America. 


Vatican officials told the news media that the Pope said the Lance Armstrong scandal is “very sad”. 

- They said His Holiness had more to say, but appparently he didn’t feel like Pontifficating. 


In Missouri, the mother of a 13-year-old girl with big breasts is protesting after a school official allegedly said the girl should have a breast reduction to prevent sexual harrassment. 

- And then all she’d have to do is get implants after college so she could get a decent job. 


On this day in 1994 Lorena Bobbitt was found not guilty. 

- Experts were amazed she went to trial…they thought she’d cut a deal. 


Have a great day, check out Podcast #70 (it’s on the homepage!) and I’ll see you right back here Tuesday!