A researcher in London has discovered a previously unknown guidebook to women - written in 1505!  It’s believed to have been written by “scientist” Albertus Magnus, to help priests understand and avoid women. The book describes females as “failed males” and says if you want to know if a woman is a virgin, maker her sniff a head of lettuce.  If she then needs to use the bathroom, she is “corrupted”.  The book also claims that during “that time of the month”, women can kill animals with just a look.  

- You gotta admit he nailed that last one…

- The Lettuce-Sniffing-Virgin thing made it all the way to Italy… giving birth to the expression, “When in Romaine”. 

- Instead of “It’s a Girl!”, they used to send out birth announcements saying “It’s a Failed Male!” 

- After reading this, Albertus’s mother said HE was the “Failed Male” in their family!